Head Tilt #85: Keep their clothes on!

🦋 Do you have a big presentation to give?

🦋 Are you feeling nervous?

🦋 Just picture your audience naked.

 

Yeah, sure... that’ll put you at ease... 😳

 

Can you even imagine??

 

That advice has been around for decades. When I tried to track the source, I was blown away to find it is often attributed to one of the world’s most revered orators... Sir Winston Churchill. 🎩

 

Churchill was not a naturally gifted speaker. He struggled with a stammer and lacked confidence. Rumor has it that to ease his nerves, he imagined his audience naked. I suppose for him it leveled the playing field.

 

Regardless, this is not good advice for today’s presenter! It disrespects your audience and disconnects you from them. Disrespect and disconnect...those are the last things you want to do when communicating!

 

Since glossophobia, the fear of public speaking, still ranks among the top global phobias, we need effective strategies for quelling those butterflies.

While there are many solid strategies for reducing speech anxiety, academic research consistently touts what is called the communication orientation—thinking less about yourself and your fears, and more about your (clothed) audience and how you can relate your topic to them—as one of the most effective methods for building presentation confidence.

 

Your audience members are co-authors of your presentation. How can you connect with them? What will they do once they hear your speech? How can you make information that’s important to you important to them? The more you focus on those things—the less you’ll worry about your performance.

 

So please, don’t think of your audience naked! But if you insist, and I’m in your audience, please apply a good filter. 😉

Head Tilt #49: I could teach this in my sleep

My sleepy Bitmoji

I've been teaching others how to give presentations in the college and corporate classrooms for 25 years. That's a long time. And it's one of my favorite things to teach. I get to see participants face their fears and build their confidence as they hone their skills. Students are so empowered when they find their voice. It's exciting to be a part of that. 😊

Allegiant to the Head Tilt notion, I am tipping my head to the side today to see what tried-and-true public speaking advice comes out. This is not a comprehensive list! 

Active links to other posts about speaking are in blue. 

In no particular order, here we go:

• Speaking is about having something to say and saying it well. Your goal is to get your message to your audience as effectively as possible. This requires knowing your audience and clarifying your goal. 

• Great speakers are made, not born. It's a skill anyone can improve. Check out the learning ladder.

• The fear is real! I understand! I've seen it in others, and I've felt it myself. Reduce fear by sticking with the 3 Ps: Preparation, practice, and a (realistically) positive attitude. As counterintuitive as it might seem, we can also think about ourselves less and focus our audience more. This post has good news about the fear of speaking. This one dispels poor, awkward advice.

• The audience members are co-authors of the presentation. For real. Create the speech with them in mind. Consider the audience size, average age, and general attitude toward you and your topic. 

• Whether consciously or not, every audience is wondering why they should listen and why they should listen to you. Connect them with the topic by telling them what's in it for them. Connect them with you by building your credibility: share your expertise (e.g., title, research, or time on the project) and your intention.

• Speaking of intention, we speak primarily to inform (educate, demonstrate, show, tell)  or to persuade (motivate, convince, move to action). It's important to know which one is the specific purpose of your presentation.

• There are three parts of speech development: Content, Organization, and Delivery.

• Use interesting comparisons, examples, and statistics to build up the content of your speech. Use familiar metaphors to explain complex information. 

• Compare the organization of your presentation to a workout. Don't skip a part! 

1.     Warm-up (introduction)
2.     Workout (body of the speech)
3.     Cool down (conclusion/call to action)

• Transitions bridge one idea to the next. They are game-changers for technical presentations. Before moving to a new main point, summarize what you just said and preview what's to come. "Now that you know a little more about the project design, I am going to walk you through the implementation phases." 

• Your body, face, and voice are your secret weapons during a speech. Be aware of two types of delivery: Physical and vocal. Physical delivery has to do with your posture, eye contact, gestures, and facial expressions. Vocal delivery is all about your speaking pitch, rate, and volume, and each should be varied for the biggest impact. 

• Memorize your presentation's first and last lines so you know exactly how to start and conclude. Memorize the structure of your presentation, but don't try to memorize every word! Extemporaneous speaking is about knowing your speech structure and speaking conversationally while being able to pivot with content as needed.

• You are the main event, not your visual aids.

• Fewer is best when it comes to slides. Scrap information- (and bullet point-) overload. Make white space your friend. Use images over words whenever possible. (Slides are not giant note cards!) 

• If you mess up, keep going! Audiences love authentic speakers. Think Hugh Jackman.

• You're still "on" during the Q&A-- make sure you have prepared for it and remain polished. Remember what happened to me? Use PREP to answer questions with ease.

• Get better. Seek feedback after the presentation. What did you do well? What could you do better?

I have so much more I want to tell you! In the spirit of head-tilt brevity, I'll end with this final thought, directed specifically at those who fear public speaking:

YOU CAN DO THIS! 

Head Tilt #42: Your audience doesn't have x-ray vision

It’s story time!

You are about to give a presentation.

It's an important one.

Several people you respect are in attendance.

You prepared. You practiced. You're READY!

But you are still very nervous. 

You would rather wash your face with coarse sandpaper than give a speech.

Yet you persevere.

You begin the speech and notice your hands are shaking. Surely the audience noticed. That's okay; you put your hands to the side.

You keep going. 

You know your face flushed to a shade of crimson when you stumble over your words. That's hard to hide. You think everyone must be laughing inside, or at least feeling sorry for you.

Still, you plod on. 

Your heart is going Edgar-Allan-Poe-rogue on you: You are certain those in attendance can hear it pound with a pace that matches your anxiety. Can they even hear what you're saying over it?

But you can see the finish line. You're almost there...

Finally, you conclude the presentation. (Thank goodness!) 

You seem to navigate the Q&A with ease, but can't really be sure.

Then, just as you are about to exit the meeting room, an esteemed colleague compliments you on your presentation prowess.

Wait, what? 

You were a mess (or at least you felt that way). How could they think you did well?

And there you have it: You have just experienced the Illusion of Transparency. 

This cognitive bias occurs when we overestimate the degree of accuracy with which others interpret our internal state. We feel we are transparent and that our inner thoughts and experiences are obvious or even broadcast to others. 

But they're not. 

Translation: Often, our poker faces are better than we think. 🤨

Having taught presentation skills for 20+ years, I've witnessed the illusion of transparency countless times. Here is how it plays out:

A student or client will give a fantastic speech. Their research is sound. They are charismatic. The points are easy to follow, and their slides rock. 

And at the end, I'll give them a well-deserved compliment on their A+ presentation.

That's when they inevitably exhale loudly and say that they were so nervous and they were sure that everyone could tell!

Nope. Rarely can we tell. 

We're not as transparent as we think we are. 

Add to that: While we are the stars of our own show, everyone else is a star of their own show. What that means is that others do not think about us as much as we think they do. 😳

Exhale. You're doing better than you think.

Disclosure: I'm not sure who owns the photo, but isn't it awesome? 

Head Tilt #18: Upcoming Presentation? Work it out!

Do you warm up before a workout? 

Maybe stretch or do some light cardio? 

How about at the end of a workout? Do you cool down with some more stretching? 

We all know that the best-planned workouts have three parts: The warm-up, the workout itself, and the cool-down. 

When I was younger, I rarely warmed up before I ran. I'd lace up and start running as soon as I went out the door. Ah, the bliss of youth, ego, and ignorance. 

I was a tiny bit better with the cool-down part, but I was not very intentional about it. 

I'd walk a little...Maybe...Some days...If I had time. 

But...

The older I get, the louder my body tells me that skipping the warm-up and cool-down is not optional! My workouts are just not as effective without all three parts. (And let's not even talk about aches and injuries. Ah, aging is so much fun!)

Did you know that all three parts —warm-up, workout, and cool-down— are essential for many communication interactions, as well?

Take a presentation, for example:

• Warm up with an introduction. Establish credibility, connect with the audience, and preview what's to come. 
• Work out by supporting your ideas. Back up your main points with stories, facts, statistics, and examples. 
• Cool down with a conclusion. Review your main points and close with a call to action or a Jerry Springer final thought. End with a bang, not a whimper!

Or a meeting:

• Warm up by connecting with each other. (Don't skip this part— especially in virtual meetings!)
• Work out by following a well-crafted agenda.
• Cool down by clarifying action items. Give recognition for contributions and time well spent.

Or a one-on-one coaching conversation.

• Warm up by stating your intention. 
• Work out by balancing the time you spend listening and talking.
• Cool down by identifying agreements and next steps. Express gratitude.

For the best outcomes, don't skip any of the three parts!

Now, please excuse me... I have some overdue stretching to do. 😊 

Me, after a good warm up, running on the UC Santa Cruz campus.

Head Tilt #9: Ummmmm..... are you sure, Mary?

Let's just call her Mary. She's the one who humiliated me greatly and taught me even more, all with one comment. 

It was 2004, and my book, Dancing with the Diagnosis, had just been published by a small press. I was so excited! After all the work, revisions, and publishing house queries, I was a published author!

I spoke at book shops (remember those?) and did a handful of radio interviews. I even got to speak on an internationally broadcasted television show to a live audience of 3,000.

It was a dream come true! My story about cancer was positively impacting others!

Wait, back up. 

Just before the actual book hit the store shelves, a friend of a friend hooked me up with a Toastmasters group (an organization I truly respect!), that was doing a summer speaking series. They were interested in having new authors talk about the publishing process. They invited me to speak to a small group of about 30 people, all of whom were committed to the craft of speaking in public. As a public speaking instructor and soon-to-be published author, I was thrilled! 

Before the presentation, my contact, "Mary", asked if I wanted feedback from the group.

That made sense: this was an organization where people practiced public speaking before each other in order to improve. However, because I was a guest speaker, I told Mary that I welcomed written feedback, but I'd feel odd to be critiqued verbally in front of the group. 

She agreed. I proceeded. 

My speech went so well! I did everything I coached my students and clients to do: Strong introduction, liberal use of transitions, extemporaneous delivery, etc. I spoke for 18 minutes and then took questions from the audience. I was happy! 

At the end of every Toastmasters meeting, people with certain assigned roles give the speakers feedback on their presentations. There is even an appointed "um counter" who tallies the vocalized pauses in each presentation. 

As the meeting closed, Mary, who happened to be the evening's um counter, stood up with her tally. 

"Mina had zero ums!" 

"Jeff had 5 ums!" 

"And, Michelle Waters, the public speaking instructor, had 23 ums!"

(Cue the sound of a record scratch!)

The audience looked around awkwardly. 

Some people gave sympathetic smiles. 

Some shrugged their shoulders. 

I was embarrassed.

I know I didn't say um during my speech. Not once. What the heck was Mary doing? I sat there, feeling very small.

When the meeting concluded, I approached Mary. I had figured it out. 

      

Me: I didn't say um once during my speech, did I? 

Mary: Nope! Not once during your speech. 

Me: It was all in my Q&A, wasn't it?

Mary: Yep! When you didn't know what was coming, you resorted to um. 

Oh, what a great lesson I learned!

We practice for the "big event" but so often forget that we are on before and after that event as well. 

Though I didn't appreciate being called out in front of everyone, I can say with confidence that I rarely say um during a question and answer period ever since. 

Thanks, Mary. 

Image by Roland Steinmann from Pixabay 

Head Tilt #8: Climbing the Learning Ladder

Imagine that you are forced to give a speech in front of an audience of unknown individuals...

Worse yet, they have been told to judge you...

Even worse yet, you are going to get a grade for your speech.

And ↑THAT↑ is the predicament that many of my students at San Jose State University and Cabrillo College faced because Public Speaking, the course I taught for 20 years, was a pre-requisite for graduating. They had to take it. 

(Insert genuine empathy for anyone who's endured this!)

One of my primary goals, other than to help them find their voice, was to help them exhale and relax, truly! My syllabus or email correspondence always said, "This will be better than you think!" 

By the end of the semester, I heard that many of my students agreed that it was. 😊

On day one, after the inevitably awkward introductions and mandatory review of assignments, I told them about the Conscious Competence Ladder that was developed by Gordon Training International waaaayyyy back in the 70s, before most of them were born.

The ladder considers two factors of skill building: awareness (consciousness) and skill level (competence). And even though I get tongue-tied every time I talk about it out loud, it's still relevant today for anyone learning a new skill, whether it be public speaking, golfing, networking, or anything else in which you can improve. 

Today I'll stick with the skill of public speaking. Suppose you give presentations often at work and want to get better at speaking in front of your team.

Let's start with Level 1: Unconscious Incompetence:

    In this stage, we are unaware (unconscious) of where we are inept (incompetent). For example, you think you did a fairly good job on your prezi but when you casually ask for some feedback, your colleague tells you that you said "um" a lot. Like, 63 times a lot. 

DANG! 

Welcome to Level 2: Conscious Incompetence:

    In your next presentation in front of the team you say um often, but thanks to your colleague's call-out, you are aware of your mistakes. You are conscious of your incompetence. You might not want to say "um" but it's so habitual that it just comes out whenever you pause or search for the next word. During the speech you might even blurt out, "I said UM!" 

Hang on, it gets better.

Next is Level 3: Conscious Competence:

    In this stage you've practiced your speech several times and have really tried to eliminate or at least reduce the ums since you know they detract from your message. You can feel the um creeping right to the tip of your tongue BUT you do not let it pass through your lips. You are very aware that you are not saying um. You are consciously competent. 

*Progress!*

Finally, there's Level 4: Unconscious Competence:

    Congratulations! With practice, feedback and commitment, you rarely utter um anymore! As a matter of fact, you don't even think about it. It's just how you speak, um-free. Look at you go! 

(And then that colleague calls you out on your over-crowded PowerPoint slides... and BAM! you're back to Level 2 for a whole different skill...)

We don't typically hear about a skill and simply embody it — it takes practice! And we are not always linear in our progression. While we aim for Level 4, sometimes we hover in level 3, sometimes slipping back to level 2. 

The take away: Be patient with yourself (and others) when learning new skills.  It's a process. Level one requires feedback for development.  Someone needs to let you know where you could grow. Ask others how you might improve in the skill you desire.

Level 2 needs information. In this stage you are aware and you need to know how to improve. Consult with experts, research and mentors. 

Moving to level 3 demands effort. You practice, practice and practice until you get it right. It's not quite natural yet, but it will be! Be patient with yourself and remind yourself of the goal. 

Finally, Level 4, unconscious competence, is when you have mastered the skill. This merits celebration. Yay you! I knew you could do it!

Photo by Pille Kirsi from Pexels