You are about to give a presentation.
It's an important one.
Several people you respect are in attendance.
You prepared. You practiced. You're READY!
But you are still very nervous.
You would rather wash your face with coarse sandpaper than give a speech.
Yet you persevere.
You begin the speech and notice your hands are shaking. Surely the audience noticed. That's okay; you put your hands to the side.
You keep going.
You know your face flushed to a shade of crimson when you stumble over your words. That's hard to hide. You think everyone must be laughing inside, or at least feeling sorry for you.
Still, you plod on.
Your heart is going Edgar-Allan-Poe-rogue on you: You are certain those in attendance can hear it pound with a pace that matches your anxiety. Can they even hear what you're saying over it?
But you can see the finish line. You're almost there...
Finally, you conclude the presentation. (Thank goodness!)
You seem to navigate the Q&A with ease, but can't really be sure.
Then, just as you are about to exit the meeting room, an esteemed colleague compliments you on your presentation prowess.
Wait, what?
You were a mess (or at least you felt that way). How could they think you did well?
And there you have it: You have just experienced the Illusion of Transparency.
This cognitive bias occurs when we overestimate the degree of accuracy with which others interpret our internal state. We feel we are transparent and that our inner thoughts and experiences are obvious or even broadcast to others.
But they're not.
Translation: Often, our poker faces are better than we think. 🤨
Having taught presentation skills for 20+ years, I've witnessed the illusion of transparency countless times. Here is how it plays out:
A student or client will give a fantastic speech. Their research is sound. They are charismatic. The points are easy to follow, and their slides rock.
And at the end, I'll give them a well-deserved compliment on their A+ presentation.
That's when they inevitably exhale loudly and say that they were so nervous and they were sure that everyone could tell!
Nope. Rarely can we tell.
We're not as transparent as we think we are.
Add to that: While we are the stars of our own show, everyone else is a star of their own show. What that means is that others do not think about us as much as we think they do. 😳
Exhale. You're doing better than you think.
Disclosure: I'm not sure who owns the photo, but isn't it awesome?