Head Tilt #88: Don't Worry, Be Imaginative

Signs, signs, everywhere signs. This gem is at a little store less than a mile from my home. I drive by it every day. It's not wrong: Worry certainly is a misuse of imagination!

To re-route worry, we can imagine a better outcome and do the next right thing. Here are some examples of moving from wasteful worry to positive possibilities. 

🍋 Are you worried about that big presentation to the executive team that's coming up?

💡 Imagine the results of a job so well done that they write songs about you! Consult a colleague, practice your speech, or review your notes. Do something to take a step toward making that positive possibility a reality.

🍋 Are you worried about your appearance as we slide into shorts and swimsuit season?

💡 Imagine how good you'll feel when you make peace with yourself, stop caring what others think, or go shopping and find something that you feel sensational in! Do something to take a step toward making that positive possibility a reality.

🍋 Are you worried about your future now that your youngest has graduated and is off to college? (Oh, wait, is that just me?)

💡 Imagine a future so bright you have to wear a cute sunhat. Take a class, nurture your network, feed your friendships, and look inward as much as outward. Dream a bigger dream and do something to take a step toward making that positive possibility a reality.

What can you do right now to re-route the energy you're using to worry toward a brighter vision of what's possible?

Whatever it is, you know I am here, wearing a cute sunhat and cheering you on! 

The Slide: My thoughts on motherhood, graduation, and empty nests

Note to anyone who stumbles upon this: Often, I process my feelings best through writing. This is one of those times. Not a head-tilt, not a lesson, just what's going on for me right now. I think/hope some moms and/or new empty-nesters might relate. 

I’ve climbed the ladder of the world’s tallest slide!

18 years of ascension, with my son by my side.

 

Up, up, up!

 

18 years of me:

 

• Loving

• Teaching

• Guiding

• Supporting

• Protecting

• Championing and

• Mom-ing

 

my son. 💕

 

At his high school graduation this past Friday, together we reached the top of the ladder. It was a wonderful, worthy climb!

 

And the next few months, the last I have with him as a resident in my home, SWOOSH! Together down the slide, we’ll go.

 

When we reach the bottom,

he

will

FLY.

 

And I will savor every moment with him until then.

 

I will cherish:

 

• Hearing his ragtime piano playing throughout the house

• Watching the final seasons of Mad Men with him in the evenings

• Listening to his brilliant brain as he educates me about all the things that fascinate him

• Traveling to the City and seeing the museums through his eyes

• Saying good night to each other in our own silly way as we pass by each other’s rooms

• Making his favorite blueberry pancakes for breakfast

• Even doing his laundry and cleaning up after him

 

All of it.

 

Down, down we’ll go until the day that he takes flight into the next fabulous phase of his life, the moment we’ve been preparing for all this time—when he heads off in the world toward his next adventure, independent of me.

 

Pride doesn’t capture the magnitude of the feelings I have. I can hardly wait to see what’s next for him. He will not only fly, but he will SOAR!

 

In an unanticipated turn of events, I will fly too.

 

Upon his departure, I will be living on my own for the first time in my life.

I will spread my wings and go

 

up, up, up...I’ll fly as high as I can!

 

All the stronger, better, and more inspired

 

Because I am his mom. ❤️

Head Tilt #87: The Next Best Things

 

There's something good coming on the horizon.

In a recent episode of Glennon Doyle's podcast, We Can Do Hard Things, Glennon addressed a question a 19-year-old college freshman asked. Before answering his question, though, she acknowledged his stage of life and recounted what her mom told her son before he left for college. She said,

 

“Everyone’s going to tell you that this is the best year of your life and to enjoy it. And you just do not listen to that. That is NOT TRUE.”

With love and a dose of reality, Glennon continued to say that freshman year is hard... and confusing... and it’s almost impossible to find your grip...

 And with a laugh, she added that so is every other year of life!

 

When we set ourselves up with the pressure of “this is going to be the best,” we pave the path for great disappointment if it isn’t.

 

I played the podcast for my son, and he said that he’d heard that high school was supposed to be the best time of his life.

 

 If he believed that, can you imagine the trepidation he might feel about graduation this week? The best part of his life is soon to be behind him... and he’s only 18!

 

As my youngest reaches this huge milestone, I reach another—the impending “empty nest” that awaits me this fall. I accept that some of the best parts of my life are behind me, but I am confident new “bests” await. With enough agency and imagination, I will create them. I don’t even know what they might be, but the anticipation of what’s possible helps me move forward.

Einstein said,

"Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions."

Today I am excited about my life's coming attractions and optimistically imagining my next best things.

I trust you are looking forward to yours, too. 🌞

PSA for People Who Love Dogs

See this lovely stick? It's a nice one, right?

Smooth sides, just the right size for throwing. Great for playing fetch with your favorite canine.

I'll sell it to you for the same price I got it...

$𝟰𝟵𝟭.𝟳𝟱

That was the vet bill after this nefarious Stick-in-Disguise-as-a-Fun-Dog-Toy tried to impale my dog Indie's throat when she caught it at the park.

The Death Dart ricocheted off the ground and went right into Indie's big yap, aiming to exit through the back of her neck.

Luckily, the Stickinator didn't succeed.

Though it didn't complete its malicious mission, yesterday's emergency drop-off and subsequent all-day stay at our veterinarian's office proved that the Wooden Weapon left a small tear in Indie's throat. She'll heal on her own, thank goodness, and our vet said we're lucky the Sinister Stick didn't slice Indie's trachea or vocal cords-- both of which she's seen in her practice several times. 😳

I kicked myself because I'd heard not to throw sticks for dogs, but whatever. I ignorantly ignored the warnings. Never again. As if I needed more proof, a quick Google search of "Is it okay to throw a stick for my dog" yielded 58 million results, the first few pages filled with emphatic NOs (all within .64 seconds).

I kicked myself again because I'd also been meaning to buy pet insurance. Whatever. Now my desk is covered with pamphlets from different providers.

Indie is feeling a bit better today. Poor baby, I can tell she's still in pain, and her energy is not near her manic Belgian Malinois standard. Still, she seems somewhat comforted by the pain med, soft food, and extra attention. ❤️

Now that I've learned my lesson, I'm hoping other dog owners can learn from my mistake.

Stay safe out there. Buy rubber or plastic stick toys or soft frisbees if you have a dog who loves to fetch. Consider pet insurance, too.

And don't be fooled by seemingly innocent sticks. I know a big beach bonfire this one will be joining tonight. 🔥🔥

The Birthday Post: Be the Valedictorian of Your Life

As a teaching associate (TA) in graduate school long ago, I was taught to view the students in my classroom as active participants in the learning process, not passive recipients of the lessons from the lectern. 

It’s a lens I’ve used to guide my course design for the past 25 years: I commit to my trainees’ growth, giving them ample opportunities to take things beyond the training room.

In the school of my life, where I am not the teacher, but the student, I use the same lens. I strive to be an active participant in my learning process, not a passive recipient of life’s syllabus. Lately, I am sitting front-row, notebook open, pencil sharpened, alert, and ready to learn. I don't always love the curriculum, but I try to attend class daily. 

Life’s lessons are taught by interactions with colleagues, customers, friends, and family. Instructional methods include conflict, challenge, wins, and losses. Some of the most powerful lessons come through pain.

If I am not being a good student, it’s all for nothing. My growth plateaus and I am obligated to re-enroll until I ace the course. 

Uh-uh. Not me. I know better. 

Here are my top tips for being at the top of the class in the school of life: 

1. Stay present. Remember the smartest kids in grade school? They always sat in the front of the class, with perfect posture, eyes fixed on the teacher, hands folded on their desks. They kind of bugged me, but they knew how to learn! Be like them. Remove the auto-pilot feature on your internal dashboard and commit to increasing your awareness and, in turn, your options. Build a chasm between stimulus and response. Breathe. Be. Learn. 

2. Stay curious. Ask good questions. Start sentences with what and how. Instead of jumping to conclusions, dance toward discovery. Read up. Take the personality quizzes. Enroll in all the classes. Know that you know a lot, but that knowledge is an infinite resource to compound.

3. Reflect.  Like a good student reviews their notes, review your day. Pair reflection with the curiosity mentioned above. What did you do well? Keep doing that! What requires a do-over? Do that! Remember that uncomfortable interaction with your manager in the one-on-one meeting? Revisit that. What happened? What did you learn? What could you have done differently? What will you do differently going forward? When paired with a plan, hindsight can be a great guru.

4. Regard those who annoy, harm, or betray you as your special guest lecturers. That leader or friend who is extra tough on you... What are they teaching you? Perhaps it’s a lesson on what NOT to do. The person who stole your thunder on the big project? They are giving you an opportunity to perfect your assertiveness skills and stand up for your worth. That one who broke your heart? They are teaching you how to heal, how to be stronger, and how to be whole on your own. Let others' wrongs illuminate your rights. 

Choose to be the valedictorian of your life. You got this. 🎓🎉

What is life teaching you today?

About that photo of me... I stole-borrowed my son's graduation garb for the pic…He doesn't know. 🤫