Hey there coaches, leaders, and kindful (kind + mindful) communicators!
Today I'm putting two of my favorite empowering phrases in the spotlight:
Not Yet and What's possible.
1. Not Yet!
I once visited the home of a well-traveled British neighbor who possesses an unyielding zeal for life, along with a fabulous accent. She took me from room to room, happily answering my queries regarding artifacts that silently served as witnesses to her adventures. Her home was and still is a showcase of a life well-lived. As we passed a framed print from Africa, she asked if I’d been there.
"No." I said, slightly embarrassed about my lack of world travel.
“Not Yet!” she enthusiastically added to my reply. I hadn’t been to Africa...yet.
“Not yet”-- two little words that opened the door of possibility. My neighbor's response of “not yet” added a hopeful dot dot dot to my "no."
See it in action:
After a few tries my son gets frustrated with his newest archery bow. He sets it aside, discouraged. He can't string it correctly. Not yet!
My client says she’s not a good speaker. "Not yet!" I counter, letting her know I’ll show her the way.
Every so often I review my bucket list. Sometimes my heart sinks when I see how many places I’ve not visited, how many classes I’ve not taken, how many languages I've not learned, and how many adventures I’ve not experienced. There’s a lot on that list I haven’t done.
Not yet, that is. With two little words I open the door to possibility while locking out disappointment.
Another favorite phrase of mine is:
2. What’s Possible?
Once while visiting San Francisco years ago, my daughter and her friend explored the Salon Shoe department at Nordstorm while we were waiting for a table in the cafe.
Knowing I can’t afford to put my big toe in any of those shoes (“not yet!”), it’s a place I usually avoid, but on this day I felt like playing.
I challenged the girls to find the most expensive pair of shoes they could.
Much to the sales person’s dismay, the girls giggled as they (carefully) flipped over shoe after shoe, competitively calling out the prices. “$575!” “$750!”
“Nope, you can do better than that!” I goaded.
And then they found the Jimmy Choo table.
It didn’t take them long to work their way up to the top of the display where a silver jewel-encrusted shoe perched above all others. My daughter, Macy, scooped it up and proclaimed, “$1995.00!”
Really?! She won. We went to check on our table.
The girls were in awe that people would spend almost $2000.00 on a pair of shoes (which, they concluded, weren’t all that spectacular!).
I explained that while the three of us might not ever covet a pair of shoes in that price range, they exist to show us what’s possible. Those shoes expand preconceived boundaries and, in their own designer way, proclaim the power of possibility.
For a while after that visit to the City, whenever Macy was discouraged by her own limitations I playfully asked, “Hey, Mac, what’s possible?”
“Two-thousand dollar shoes!” she'd answer.
That's my girl! 😉
COACHES
Take this power-question to your clients. Unleash innovation by asking what's possible. I think I actually first heard this phrase when going through coaching training eons ago.
- Is your client trying to sort out their career? Ask them what's possible.
- Are they trying to hone their circle of influence? Ask them what's possible.
LEADERS
Bring this to brainstorming sessions. Don't get caught up in the reality of whether or not the ideas are feasible; you can judge them later. Start off the session by stoking creativity and asking your team what's possible. Capture the ridiculous and the realistic. Don't censor the ideas, just let them build upon each other.
Suppose you are brainstorming ideas for how to adapt employee recognition during the pandemic. Ask what's possible and let the ideas fly! For example,
- A Doordash subscription and monthly allowance? Sure! Capture that idea!
- A personal letter from the CEO? Put it on the list!
- A paid day off for the team? Go for it!
- A puppy? Why not?
Remember- brainstorming is about idea generation- there is no commitment needed at this stage.
KINDFUL COMMUNICATORS
You can use these phrases with friends, family or yourself!
- Do you have a friend who is stuck? Encourage them to do some blue-sky thinking; ask them what's possible.
- Is someone trying to figure out how to spend their bonus? Ask them what's possible.
- Are you trying to decide between two important choices? Consider what's possible with each.
What are some of your favorite power phrases that provide possibility and a positive shift in mindset?
(Please know that the three categories of coaches, leaders, and kindful communicators are not mutually exclusive!)
