Head Tilt #20: The subject is subject lines

You've just returned from Bali.

The trip was transformational.

You learned the secret to true happiness.

You can hardly wait to share it with everyone!

So you carefully craft a detailed email with all the steps. 

"Surely this life-changing information will be well-received!" you think.

(People will probably write songs about you.) 

You press "send" and off goes your inspired message! 

You wait for the barrage of replies, questions, praise and gratitude. This is BIG!

But no one responds to your powerful email message. 

Not a single soul.

Why not?

Because you didn't put anything in the email's subject line, silly! 

For real, the subject line of an email (or lack thereof) often determines if a message reaches your target audience (thank you, spam filters) or if it is opened at all.  

If they do open your subjectless message, you risk frustrating your reader, even more, when they try to decipher what it's all about. Consider this:

"Over 347 billion emails will be sent and received per day by 2022." 99Firms

That's a lot of email!

When it comes to fine-tuning your subject line, be kind: consider your audience and pair specificity with brevity. 

Here is the least you need to know about creating a strong subject line. 

1. Use one (see example above).

2. Think mobile. Between 85-95% of people check email on their mobile devices. Because different email servers display a varied amount of characters from one device to another, the recommended sweet-spot is 40 characters.

3. Make every word matter. Add a date and/or detail for specificity and organization. (E.g., "Notes from 3/11/21 sales meeting").

4. If your message is time-sensitive or requires a response, start the subject line with a key word or phrase such as "Action requested" or "Input needed." Follow that up with the related subject. For example: "Confirmation: Menu for Friday's HR training"

5. And please-oh-please purge these meaningless subject lines from your mind, fingertips, and keyboard:

• Meeting
• Update
• Checking in
• Hi    
• Status

Mobile Email Statistics  from 99Firms

Email Subject Lines from Nielsen Norman Group

Photo by Alexandr Podvalny from Pexels

Head Tilt #19: Fundamentally speaking

Someone cuts you off in traffic. 

"That jerk!" you think (or, if you're like me, you'll use more colorful descriptors). It doesn't matter to you that the driver might be stressed, late, or even in labor.

They did a BAD THING because they're a BAD PERSON.  😈

On the other hand, we only do "bad" things because of external influences. 😇

And ↑that↑ is fundamental attribution error in action. 

Fundamental attribution error is a cognitive bias that takes two possible explanations for behavior into consideration:

1. Our behaviors are influenced by internal characteristics like personality and disposition (it's just the way someone is). 

2. Our behaviors are influenced by external situational factors (such as stress, labor, etc).

Here's the twist (and therefore, the "error"):

Research shows that when interpreting other people's behavior, particularly behavior that bugs us like being cut off by someone in traffic, we are more inclined to attribute others' behavior to internal factors.  Our minds don't immediately leap to looking for reasonable explanations. Instead, we go to the accusation: They're simply a rude, reckless idiot. 

BUT!

When interpreting our own behavior, e.g., we are the ones to cut someone off in traffic, we are quick to attach our behaviors to external reasons. It's someone or something else's fault:

"I am late and need to move, and besides, they didn't even need to tap their brakes-- I'm such a good driver."

or

"This person isn't driving fast enough, and I must pass them."

or

"If this person weren't a Sunday driver, I wouldn't have to cut them off."

Blame. Blame. Blame.

So what to do?

1. Be aware of this inclination. Interesting to note is that Americans (who live in a traditionally competitive culture) are more likely to have this bias than those in other less me-oriented and more collaborative cultures, such as those in India for example. 

2. Put distance between stimulus and response. Breathe. Don't react on your first impulse. 

3. Offer three possible alternative explanations other than blaming another's personality/internal attributions -- no matter how outrageous those explanations might be. For example, the next time someone cuts you off and your heart rate accelerates along with your speed, pause and say, 

"There must be free doughnuts up at the next exit. " 

You never know. 🍩 🍩 🍩

Cognitive biases such as fundamental attribution error limit our empathy and understanding of others. These prejudices color the way we respond to others. 

Becoming aware of such biases helps you become

a better leader, 

a better friend, 

a better partner and

 

a better person. 

Image by anya1 from Pixabay 

Head Tilt #18: Upcoming Presentation? Work it out!

Do you warm up before a workout? 

Maybe stretch or do some light cardio? 

How about at the end of a workout? Do you cool down with some more stretching? 

We all know that the best-planned workouts have three parts: The warm-up, the workout itself, and the cool-down. 

When I was younger, I rarely warmed up before I ran. I'd lace up and start running as soon as I went out the door. Ah, the bliss of youth, ego, and ignorance. 

I was a tiny bit better with the cool-down part, but I was not very intentional about it. 

I'd walk a little...Maybe...Some days...If I had time. 

But...

The older I get, the louder my body tells me that skipping the warm-up and cool-down is not optional! My workouts are just not as effective without all three parts. (And let's not even talk about aches and injuries. Ah, aging is so much fun!)

Did you know that all three parts —warm-up, workout, and cool-down— are essential for many communication interactions, as well?

Take a presentation, for example:

• Warm up with an introduction. Establish credibility, connect with the audience, and preview what's to come. 
• Work out by supporting your ideas. Back up your main points with stories, facts, statistics, and examples. 
• Cool down with a conclusion. Review your main points and close with a call to action or a Jerry Springer final thought. End with a bang, not a whimper!

Or a meeting:

• Warm up by connecting with each other. (Don't skip this part— especially in virtual meetings!)
• Work out by following a well-crafted agenda.
• Cool down by clarifying action items. Give recognition for contributions and time well spent.

Or a one-on-one coaching conversation.

• Warm up by stating your intention. 
• Work out by balancing the time you spend listening and talking.
• Cool down by identifying agreements and next steps. Express gratitude.

For the best outcomes, don't skip any of the three parts!

Now, please excuse me... I have some overdue stretching to do. 😊 

Me, after a good warm up, running on the UC Santa Cruz campus.

Head Tilt #17: Where the magic happens

So far, I've shared some of my favorite communication tips. 

• Assume positive intent.
• Put space between stimulus and response.
• Match your intention to the desired impact.
• Follow the platinum rule.

When teaching these topics throughout the years, there is one question that comes up from time to time.

 "But, Michelle, what if I do all of these things and they don't work?"

Pause. 

Don't "work"? 

These aren't magic tricks that work if you use just the right sleight of hand. 

These are communication tools that enable you to show up at your best all the time. 

Don't be too discouraged if they don't "work." 

Keep trying. Make consistency your secret weapon. Make clear, kind communication part of your personal brand.

And know that despite your efforts:

• Sometimes the customer will still be angry. 
• Sometimes your message might not land the way you'd hoped. 
• Sometimes you won't be able to determine the positive intent of others-- no matter how hard you try.

But also know this:

Sometimes at the end of the day when things don't go as you had hoped, you still have the satisfaction of knowing you did the best you could. No do-overs, no regrets. You showed up with integrity and you mindfully communicated  with clarity and kindness. You were kindful.

And ↑THAT↑ is where you'll find the magic. 

mw