"A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives." Jackie Robinson
Imagine this:
You're driving down the freeway. Your favorite song is playing. Traffic is light, and you are cruising. It's a good day. Then, a car in the other lane suddenly cuts in front of you, causing you to clip their taillight.
You're okay--there's minor damage to each car and none to you, but you're rattled.
You get out to talk to the driver.
"But I had my turn signal on!" they declare.
Does it matter?
No, not to you, it doesn't.
They turned their signal on too late, they were going too fast, and you crashed!
Good intention doesn't absolve us from poor impacts.
In conversation, stating your intention is the turn signal of human communication. It's that mindful moment where you pause, figure out your conversational goal and then tell others, so they know where you're headed.
And, your intention doesn't matter if you haven't planned for the impact it might have on a specific audience.
As I introduced this concept in a trust class I taught recently, a high-level director who had described himself as a leader who encourages autonomy spoke up and made it real. He said that no matter what his intention,
"Depending on who I talk to, a question from me, the director, if you're a maintenance worker, for example, can be very intimidating. I have to watch out for that."
WHAT HE SAID! ↑↑↑↑↑
This director's intention could be full of goodwill. He told us he's not suspicious at all, only interested and supportive. But the impact of that intention could ultimately backfire (e.g., the employee could feel defensive and anxious instead of supported) if the director doesn't adjust his communication with his recipient.
Intention and Impact.
I Yi Yi! I could go on and on about this topic, but in the spirit of quick reads:
It's not just about what you want or intend; it's also about how your message will be interpreted. Good communicators consider both.
To build trust, set a good intention and thoughtfully consider the impact your communication will have.
And use your turn signals, please. ;)
mw
Photo by Markus Spiske from Pexels