Head Tilt #59: Challenging customers? Try this.

Is this your difficult customer or is it you?

Hey service providers, this one's for you!

So you have an unhappy customer? EXCELLENT! 

Disgruntled customers give you the chance to put all your service skills to the test.

If your customer is challenging, they likely see you as challenging too. 

And because of your service role, YOU are the one who needs to resolve the situation. 

Certainly, there will be times when you need to escalate authority and get someone else on your team involved. But first, be a proactive problem solver; aim to be the LAST person this disgruntled customer encounters. 

How? By following the L.A.S.T. communication model: Listen, Apologize, Solve, Thank.* I've taught this and tried this for years. (I did not create it.) 

It's not a match for every challenge. 

It needs to be adapted for certain situations.

And it is still a solid communication framework for communicating with unhappy customers.

Here are the steps in order:

1. LISTEN

When dealing with an unhappy customer, we need to listen first.

As tempting as it is, do not go right into problem-solving! 

Listen first. People long to be heard. 

You might be familiar with the Stephen Covey quote that says, "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." 

That quote is all about listening before solving.

When you listen first you learn two things:

1. What your customer is really upset about

2. What your customer is feeling

These are equally important. When you know what the customer is upset about, you can solve the right problem. When you know what they are feeling, you can connect through empathy.

2. APOLOGIZE/ACKNOWLEDGE

Next, apologize for the situation. Really. Don’t ignore, dismiss or make light of customer complaints and moods. Don't get caught up in right or wrong. You are representing your company. If you cannot apologize (for legal reasons or because you are Fonzie from Happy Days), then at least acknowledge the customer's angst. Remember: 

    The customer's perception is your reality. 

  

Now is not the time to let your ego lead. Gently push your ego aside and tell it can you can hang out together later. 

Remember the times you’ve been an upset customer? Yeah-- access that. Tap into your ability to understand angst or disappointment. Empathize. Apologize for the experience the customer is having with you or your place of business.

Sounds like: 

    I apologize for the way you were treated.

    I'd be frustrated too. 

    I can see how confusing that would have been.

    I am sorry you’ve had to wait.

  

Tips for an apology:

    Time it wisely (the sooner the better if they are listening).

    Get to the point.

    Reassure them that it won’t happen again– not on your watch!

    Be sincere.

3. SOLVE

You have listened. You have apologized for or acknowledged the inconvenience. Now it's time to solve the problem the best you can. Instead of telling them what you CAN’T do, aim to tell them what you CAN do. Also, as silly as they might sound, keep these tips in mind:

   Don’t call them stupid (even unintentionally): If you had come at your assigned time… 

(Tell them what you can do now that they are there.)

    Don’t call them liars: You claim you didn’t know... 

(Don't get involved in the blame-game. Focus on next steps.)

    Don’t blame them: Obviously, you did not read the notices...

(See above)

    Don’t make them think that you don’t care: If you’d like to go elsewhere, be my guest. 

(Remember, you're the face of the company. Try not to take things personally. Get back to focusing on what steps can be done right now. You are a service HERO!)

4. THANK

(This final step is usually the biggest surprise to those I teach.)

At the end of any customer interaction- no matter how challenging, it is appropriate to thank your customer. It's a bid of goodwill that can leave a lasting, positive impression.

Thank them for:

   Working with you to get the situation handled

   Being patient

   Bringing the problem to your attention

   Suggesting a new way of doing things 

In a customer-facing role, smiles and compliments are the best! But they are not all we experience. By applying the aforementioned tips, top service providers can aim to appease customers, right wrongs, manage chaos and respectfully represent their organization, all while being the LAST person a disgruntled customer encounters.

*Use this model as handrails, not handcuffs; adapt accordingly to the situation and your style. 

Image by GemmaRay23 from Pixabay 

Head Tilt #58: Tell Better Stories

That's me!

The other day I went surfing for the first time in more than 25 years!

It was a stellar adventure, and I can hardly wait to go again and again. 

I didn't stand up (not yet!), but I did ride a wave, and I got tumbled a couple of times. 🌊🌊🌊

I 

loved 

every

minute

of 

it. 

I'm getting ahead of myself, though.

For the past 30 years, I've lived in Santa Cruz, California, aka "Surf City."

Whatever, Huntington Beach  🙄.

I have friends who surf, but I've steered clear of the ocean for almost three decades.  

Why did I stay away?  

Because I defined myself by these statements:

I am not ocean savvy.

I am a runner, not a surfer.

Surfing is my ex-husband's thing, not mine.

Those statements introduced powerful stories about who I am and what I do and don't do. 

And though each line had a modicum of truth, I wore them like permanent tattoos. I let them color every conversation about why I don't surf.

I was the poster child for "That's my story, and I am sticking to it!" 

Until I didn't stick to it. 

The other day on a very long solo road trip back from Southern California, I reflected on my self-imposed surfing descriptors. 

In crept curiosity. I had a lot of time on my hands, so I let it ride shotgun. 

What if I told a different story? What if those beliefs could still stand, and I could add a word or phrase that left room for new possibilities? 

I am not ocean savvy yet. 

I am a runner, and I surf. 

Surfing is Jim's thing, and I am trying it out. 

I called a friend from the road and said I wanted to try surfing. By the weekend, I had a fantastic wetsuit (known to me now as my Sea Spanx) and warm booties. I also borrowed the biggest, pinkest surfboard I've ever seen! 

Before I could have second thoughts, we were in the ocean!

When I wiped out, they cheered loudly and congratulated me on getting that over with. 😆

We had a blast.

With curiosity by at my side, I've started to challenge other tired descriptors I've believed.

"I am bad with directions."

"Math isn't my thing."

"I couldn't sell anything if  my life depended on it."

Wait, what?

I don't even want to listen to those stories, let alone tell them!

Those stories are all about limitations. 

I want to be limitless ⚡️☀️

I want to disprove those statements. 

I 

want

to

tell

better

stories. 

I want the same for my clients. 

Here are actual phrases I've heard from leaders in the corporate classroom throughout the years:

I don't praise people; that's not my style.

I am conflict-avoidant. It's just who I am.  

I am not going to change the way I talk to my team. I've done it this way for 20 years. 

 

Each of the above statements contributes to dysfunctional teams, decreased engagement, and leadership deficits. 

Together we rewrite better stories.

I don't praise people; that's not my style. But what if it was? How would my team and I benefit?

I am conflict-avoidant. It's who I've been for a long time. I'd like to learn how to get past this.  

I've been talking to my team this way for my whole career. Maybe I can try something new and see what happens.

Telling better stories begins with noticing those statements you are currently using to define who you are and what you do. 

Get comfy, take out a pen and paper, and make a list of sentences you use to describe yourself. 

Then, invite curiosity to sit beside you. Trust me, it wants what is best for you. 

Which statements serve you? Are they supporting the you you want to be? The leader you want to be? The friend you want to be? If not, how might you tweak them? 

TOP TIP: If they don't serve you, stop saying them!

Case in point: I am truly not that much better with directions— yet. But you'll never again hear me say, "I'm bad with directions." 

NEW BELIEFS = NEW STORIES.

Go tell better stories! 🏄‍♀️

 

Head Tilt #57: Never underestimate the power of a Post-it note (Recognition Series 4/4)

"There are two things people want more than sex and money...recognition and praise."

Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics, 

Well, that is an interesting perspective! 😳

Rather than debate the quote's accuracy, let's just agree that recognition counts. It shows others you see them and that you appreciate them. It tackles anonymity-- one of the biggest de-motivators in the workplace.* 

Here are some different ways to show your team members that they matter. (Because truly, one can only have so many cliche-covered coffee mugs.)

• When introducing a new hire to your team; showcase each team member's special talent or area of expertise (beyond their title).

• No matter what your title or rank, ask your team members for valued input. Park any objections and listen to their ideas. 

• Put down your phone and look away from your computer... give someone your full attention. Presence sends a message of worth and respect.

• When applicable, give them a shout out on LinkedIn. For example, highlight the outcome of a project and tag them for being instrumental in its success.

• If you lead a team, make sure every team member knows why their work matters to the team, why the team's work matters to the organization, and why the organization's work matters to the world. 

• Purposefully take time to connect with the person you know least on your team. You can start by asking them their favorite part of what they do and what their biggest challenge is. 

• Stand up for your team. Show pride for them in front of others. Sing their praises. 

• Take someone for coffee and talk to them about anything other than work. 

• Keep the entire team on your radar. Look for reasons to acknowledge each person for their wins, efforts, values, persistence, etc.

• Find a way to recognize the team member who is struggling the most. Let them know you see the challenges they are navigating. Provide support as needed. 

• Weave recognition into weekly meetings. For example, spend the first 10 minutes of a Friday meeting by giving team members a chance to call out their wins for the week. They could also acknowledge stellar efforts of others on the team.

• Ask those from other departments (internal customers) to give their praise of your team members in writing so you can share it with them. Post it on a slide and show it in a meeting. 

• Ask your boss or your boss's boss or the CEO to write a note to someone who deserves recognition. 

• Encourage professional development by letting a teammate choose an online class from LinkedIn Learning or another worthy platform. Alternatively, send them to a special conference they are interested in. Upon course completion invite them to teach the highlights to the team. 

• Similarly, when sending someone to training, tell them why and how they'll benefit. Acknowledge the challenge of being away from their work while they attend a class. Make sure they have ample backup so they can focus on the training.

• Invite an employee along to an important meeting. Give them more visibility to others.

• Let someone know you see their strengths by offering them the lead on a special project.

• Finally, never underestimate the power of a purposefully placed post-it note. Leave one at a co-worker's workspace with words of appreciation or encouragement. When they stumble upon it, it will brighten their day. 

But wait! There are more posts on recognition! 

• This one shares the time I was recognized when things went wrong. 
• This one is about the time I think I did a really good job at recognizing my group's efforts, even though I broke some rules in the process.
• This one talks about the Platinum Rule and delivering recognition that lands.

The comment feature isn't working, but I'd still love to have a conversation! Email me at 53thingsIthinkIknow@gmail.com

*Patrick Lencioni, leadership guru and author of Three Signs of a Miserable Job cites anonymity as one of three factors that make people leave their jobs. 

Head Tilt #56: So, tell me what you want, what you really, really want (Recognition Series 3/4)

Hugs or High-fives?

In the previous two posts I shared my personal favorite recognition stories. 

This tilt of my head is all about effectively using praise as a form of recognition. 

Remember the platinum rule? (It's one of my favorite things to teach.)

"Treat others as they want to be treated."

Positive, impactful praise requires thought; it needs to be tailored to the recipient. 

To sharpen your recognition skills, think of each co-worker/direct report/friend and consider the following:

Are they extrinsically or intrinsically  motivated? Are they driven by visible rewards or by the sense of completion and success?

Do they prefer public or private praise? When in doubt, praise privately.

Do they prefer simple or detailed communication? Are they a bottom-line person or will they benefit from more specific praise?

Do they prefer face-to-face recognition or would it be best to send in an email*? Some "hear" the praise better if it's in writing. They can review it and see the specifics. (Promise me that you will never, ever send constructive feedback in an email, though. You can't control when they'll open it, nor how they will interpret your tone. Promise? Good.)

Do they like high-fives, handshakes, or hugs? Know before you lean in!

Do they prefer Starbucks or Peet's? 

    Just kidding-- kind of. If you're going to go this route, try to make it less generic. Aim to match the individual's tastes. I once received a gift card to a steakhouse... and I'm a vegetarian.

When in doubt, ASK. 

    Use me as your fall-guy/gal. Tell your team you read this article on recognition and you want to know what counts as acknowledgement for them. 😊

What type of recognition motivates you? 

Who can you recognize TODAY?

But wait! There are several more posts about recognition!

• This one shares the time I was recognized when things went wrong. 
• This one is about the time I think I did a really good job at recognizing my group's efforts, even though I broke some rules in the process.
• This one give fresh ideas for recognizing others (beyond a coffee card or mug!)

The comment feature isn't working, but I'd still love to have a conversation! Email me at 53thingsIthinkIknow@gmail.com

Image by Graphics@ HandiHow from Pixabay 

Head Tilt #55: I recognize YOU! (Recognition Series 2/4)

I see you! I really do!

In the previous post (#54) I shared my favorite recognition story: the time when the director of HR met me to say how much the company appreciated me. Wow. I love that example of leadership. 

Today's post is my other favorite recognition story: the time when I recognized others for being fabulous. 

Pull up a chair, pour some tea, and relax. It's a long, but worthwhile story. 

First, some background. 

I ❤️  recognizing others. I love spotting the good, calling it out and making people feel seen. 

I've been known to ask to see the manager (not because I have short hair!) just so I can rave about their employees.

I end many customer service calls with, "Who can I tell about your great service?" 

I get joy from finding the right way to let others in my circle of influence know that I see their contributions and think they are awesome.  

This specific recognition story goes back to a time when I was an adjunct instructor at a Cal State University.

I was teaching a class called Argumentation and Advocacy. It was a tough class with a large presentation requirement. At the end of the semester students were paired to debate two sides of a controversial issue, specifically citing all claims, warrants and evidence.  All of that while strutting their presentation skills. 

One semester I had a *magical* class of students. It was a dream class. (Anyone who has taught knows what I'm saying!)

The students were dedicated, inquisitive, prepared and courageous. They gelled with each other and with me. They were the section that I always looked forward to seeing. Just the chance of getting a group like them kept me teaching in the college classroom for 20 years. 

These students kept me on my toes; they asked great questions and expected a lot from me. I tried my best to meet their needs by preparing particularly good lectures and activities. 

The university I taught for had some weird requirements. For example, instructors would get warnings if they issued too many A's (!!) and all classes- no matter what the subject-- were required to have a formal final exam. 

I didn't like these rules. 

Students earned their A's in my classes and I did everything I could to help them do so. Final exams didn't always measure knowledge or skill, and I thought they should be up to the discretion of the instructor. 

Still, I'm a rule-follower and I did my best to oblige.

Except the time I didn't. 

And that takes us back to that amazing group of students.

For the weeks prior to the big semester-end debate, they came to class early to clarify concepts with me. They stayed late to rehearse their arguments. And on top of all that brain-work, they practiced their public speaking skills: They wanted to sound credible and competent.

When debate-day came, they slayed it! I was in awe. The students absolutely nailed their presentations. They demonstrated a keen knowledge of argumentation, coupled with solid public speaking skills. 

Next came the mandatory multiple-choice final. By my design, it wasn't a huge part of their final grade, but it could move the needle either way for those on the low or high side of a percentile.

I couldn't do it. 

They'd already met the objectives of the class. What would a multiple-choice test prove? 

Not much for this group. 

Still, I had to give the final -- it was university policy, and my department held us accountable.

So I prepared the exam. It had twenty-five carefully crafted questions. I distributed a study guide for the exam and watched as study-groups formed. I left time for exam prep and answered clarification questions for students. 

They were ready for the test!

And still, I just couldn't.

So... when it was time to print that exam, I deliberately typed an *asterisk* in front of each correct answer before running it through the copier. For example, if the answer was B, that B would look like this: *B. If they were paying attention, the answers were right in front of them. Literally.

Finally we joined for our last meeting of the semester. Before entering the classroom, many students occupied the hall and quizzed each other on the study guide for the course final. 

When all were seated, I distributed the exam (the one with all of the correct answers marked with asterisks). 

With a solid poker-face,  I told students that the copier was acting up and that there were ink spots on the exam. I apologized and passed out the spotty papers.

Five minutes into the final, a student in the class approached my desk. He whispered that he thought I had mistakenly given him the answer key. I stayed in character and reassured him it was just the crappy copier. Confused, he returned to his desk. 

Shortly after that, students began to look around at each other, shrugging and eventually smiling. 

When the last exam was turned in I told the students that they had worked hard this semester and I didn't think an exam would prove whether or not they knew the course material. Instead, they had demonstrated their comprehension in their excellent presentations.They had also shown me how seriously they took their studies by preparing whole-heartedly for the final. From my perspective, they  exceeded my expectations. As long as everyone had turned in their exam, they aced it.**

They were thrilled. (All except for the one young woman who seemed to gage her worth by exam scores). Some high-fived me when they exited. One told me I was awesome.  😎

I felt great! 

And while that's a nice side-effect, it was never about me. 

It was about noticing other's fabulousness and recognizing it in a way that mattered to them. 

That's recognition. It's more than a thank you. It's finding a way to show others you appreciate them. 

My story is just one example of many, many ways to recognize others. 

Here’s the takeaway: While we can’t always break the rules, one way to recognize others is by clearing their path. Make sure that we are not giving people unnecessary hoops to jump through. Help them measure their success with metrics that matter. 

**That doesn't mean everyone got As for the final course grade. Many did, but for some reason I didn't get reprimanded for it. ;)

But wait! There are a few more posts on recognition!

• This one shares the time I was recognized when things went wrong... and it meant more than ever.
• This one honors the Platinum Rule and offers tips for matching the recognition to the recipient so it lands well. 
• This one give fresh ideas for recognizing others (beyond a coffee card or mug!)

The comment feature isn't working, but I'd still love to have a conversation! Email me at 53thingsIthinkIknow@gmail.com

Telescope Image by Hans Braxmeier from Pixabay