Head Tilt #57: Never underestimate the power of a Post-it note (Recognition Series 4/4)

"There are two things people want more than sex and money...recognition and praise."

Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics, 

Well, that is an interesting perspective! 😳

Rather than debate the quote's accuracy, let's just agree that recognition counts. It shows others you see them and that you appreciate them. It tackles anonymity-- one of the biggest de-motivators in the workplace.* 

Here are some different ways to show your team members that they matter. (Because truly, one can only have so many cliche-covered coffee mugs.)

• When introducing a new hire to your team; showcase each team member's special talent or area of expertise (beyond their title).

• No matter what your title or rank, ask your team members for valued input. Park any objections and listen to their ideas. 

• Put down your phone and look away from your computer... give someone your full attention. Presence sends a message of worth and respect.

• When applicable, give them a shout out on LinkedIn. For example, highlight the outcome of a project and tag them for being instrumental in its success.

• If you lead a team, make sure every team member knows why their work matters to the team, why the team's work matters to the organization, and why the organization's work matters to the world. 

• Purposefully take time to connect with the person you know least on your team. You can start by asking them their favorite part of what they do and what their biggest challenge is. 

• Stand up for your team. Show pride for them in front of others. Sing their praises. 

• Take someone for coffee and talk to them about anything other than work. 

• Keep the entire team on your radar. Look for reasons to acknowledge each person for their wins, efforts, values, persistence, etc.

• Find a way to recognize the team member who is struggling the most. Let them know you see the challenges they are navigating. Provide support as needed. 

• Weave recognition into weekly meetings. For example, spend the first 10 minutes of a Friday meeting by giving team members a chance to call out their wins for the week. They could also acknowledge stellar efforts of others on the team.

• Ask those from other departments (internal customers) to give their praise of your team members in writing so you can share it with them. Post it on a slide and show it in a meeting. 

• Ask your boss or your boss's boss or the CEO to write a note to someone who deserves recognition. 

• Encourage professional development by letting a teammate choose an online class from LinkedIn Learning or another worthy platform. Alternatively, send them to a special conference they are interested in. Upon course completion invite them to teach the highlights to the team. 

• Similarly, when sending someone to training, tell them why and how they'll benefit. Acknowledge the challenge of being away from their work while they attend a class. Make sure they have ample backup so they can focus on the training.

• Invite an employee along to an important meeting. Give them more visibility to others.

• Let someone know you see their strengths by offering them the lead on a special project.

• Finally, never underestimate the power of a purposefully placed post-it note. Leave one at a co-worker's workspace with words of appreciation or encouragement. When they stumble upon it, it will brighten their day. 

But wait! There are more posts on recognition! 

• This one shares the time I was recognized when things went wrong. 
• This one is about the time I think I did a really good job at recognizing my group's efforts, even though I broke some rules in the process.
• This one talks about the Platinum Rule and delivering recognition that lands.

The comment feature isn't working, but I'd still love to have a conversation! Email me at 53thingsIthinkIknow@gmail.com

*Patrick Lencioni, leadership guru and author of Three Signs of a Miserable Job cites anonymity as one of three factors that make people leave their jobs. 

Head Tilt #56: So, tell me what you want, what you really, really want (Recognition Series 3/4)

Hugs or High-fives?

In the previous two posts I shared my personal favorite recognition stories. 

This tilt of my head is all about effectively using praise as a form of recognition. 

Remember the platinum rule? (It's one of my favorite things to teach.)

"Treat others as they want to be treated."

Positive, impactful praise requires thought; it needs to be tailored to the recipient. 

To sharpen your recognition skills, think of each co-worker/direct report/friend and consider the following:

Are they extrinsically or intrinsically  motivated? Are they driven by visible rewards or by the sense of completion and success?

Do they prefer public or private praise? When in doubt, praise privately.

Do they prefer simple or detailed communication? Are they a bottom-line person or will they benefit from more specific praise?

Do they prefer face-to-face recognition or would it be best to send in an email*? Some "hear" the praise better if it's in writing. They can review it and see the specifics. (Promise me that you will never, ever send constructive feedback in an email, though. You can't control when they'll open it, nor how they will interpret your tone. Promise? Good.)

Do they like high-fives, handshakes, or hugs? Know before you lean in!

Do they prefer Starbucks or Peet's? 

    Just kidding-- kind of. If you're going to go this route, try to make it less generic. Aim to match the individual's tastes. I once received a gift card to a steakhouse... and I'm a vegetarian.

When in doubt, ASK. 

    Use me as your fall-guy/gal. Tell your team you read this article on recognition and you want to know what counts as acknowledgement for them. 😊

What type of recognition motivates you? 

Who can you recognize TODAY?

But wait! There are several more posts about recognition!

• This one shares the time I was recognized when things went wrong. 
• This one is about the time I think I did a really good job at recognizing my group's efforts, even though I broke some rules in the process.
• This one give fresh ideas for recognizing others (beyond a coffee card or mug!)

The comment feature isn't working, but I'd still love to have a conversation! Email me at 53thingsIthinkIknow@gmail.com

Image by Graphics@ HandiHow from Pixabay 

Head Tilt #55: I recognize YOU! (Recognition Series 2/4)

I see you! I really do!

In the previous post (#54) I shared my favorite recognition story: the time when the director of HR met me to say how much the company appreciated me. Wow. I love that example of leadership. 

Today's post is my other favorite recognition story: the time when I recognized others for being fabulous. 

Pull up a chair, pour some tea, and relax. It's a long, but worthwhile story. 

First, some background. 

I ❤️  recognizing others. I love spotting the good, calling it out and making people feel seen. 

I've been known to ask to see the manager (not because I have short hair!) just so I can rave about their employees.

I end many customer service calls with, "Who can I tell about your great service?" 

I get joy from finding the right way to let others in my circle of influence know that I see their contributions and think they are awesome.  

This specific recognition story goes back to a time when I was an adjunct instructor at a Cal State University.

I was teaching a class called Argumentation and Advocacy. It was a tough class with a large presentation requirement. At the end of the semester students were paired to debate two sides of a controversial issue, specifically citing all claims, warrants and evidence.  All of that while strutting their presentation skills. 

One semester I had a *magical* class of students. It was a dream class. (Anyone who has taught knows what I'm saying!)

The students were dedicated, inquisitive, prepared and courageous. They gelled with each other and with me. They were the section that I always looked forward to seeing. Just the chance of getting a group like them kept me teaching in the college classroom for 20 years. 

These students kept me on my toes; they asked great questions and expected a lot from me. I tried my best to meet their needs by preparing particularly good lectures and activities. 

The university I taught for had some weird requirements. For example, instructors would get warnings if they issued too many A's (!!) and all classes- no matter what the subject-- were required to have a formal final exam. 

I didn't like these rules. 

Students earned their A's in my classes and I did everything I could to help them do so. Final exams didn't always measure knowledge or skill, and I thought they should be up to the discretion of the instructor. 

Still, I'm a rule-follower and I did my best to oblige.

Except the time I didn't. 

And that takes us back to that amazing group of students.

For the weeks prior to the big semester-end debate, they came to class early to clarify concepts with me. They stayed late to rehearse their arguments. And on top of all that brain-work, they practiced their public speaking skills: They wanted to sound credible and competent.

When debate-day came, they slayed it! I was in awe. The students absolutely nailed their presentations. They demonstrated a keen knowledge of argumentation, coupled with solid public speaking skills. 

Next came the mandatory multiple-choice final. By my design, it wasn't a huge part of their final grade, but it could move the needle either way for those on the low or high side of a percentile.

I couldn't do it. 

They'd already met the objectives of the class. What would a multiple-choice test prove? 

Not much for this group. 

Still, I had to give the final -- it was university policy, and my department held us accountable.

So I prepared the exam. It had twenty-five carefully crafted questions. I distributed a study guide for the exam and watched as study-groups formed. I left time for exam prep and answered clarification questions for students. 

They were ready for the test!

And still, I just couldn't.

So... when it was time to print that exam, I deliberately typed an *asterisk* in front of each correct answer before running it through the copier. For example, if the answer was B, that B would look like this: *B. If they were paying attention, the answers were right in front of them. Literally.

Finally we joined for our last meeting of the semester. Before entering the classroom, many students occupied the hall and quizzed each other on the study guide for the course final. 

When all were seated, I distributed the exam (the one with all of the correct answers marked with asterisks). 

With a solid poker-face,  I told students that the copier was acting up and that there were ink spots on the exam. I apologized and passed out the spotty papers.

Five minutes into the final, a student in the class approached my desk. He whispered that he thought I had mistakenly given him the answer key. I stayed in character and reassured him it was just the crappy copier. Confused, he returned to his desk. 

Shortly after that, students began to look around at each other, shrugging and eventually smiling. 

When the last exam was turned in I told the students that they had worked hard this semester and I didn't think an exam would prove whether or not they knew the course material. Instead, they had demonstrated their comprehension in their excellent presentations.They had also shown me how seriously they took their studies by preparing whole-heartedly for the final. From my perspective, they  exceeded my expectations. As long as everyone had turned in their exam, they aced it.**

They were thrilled. (All except for the one young woman who seemed to gage her worth by exam scores). Some high-fived me when they exited. One told me I was awesome.  😎

I felt great! 

And while that's a nice side-effect, it was never about me. 

It was about noticing other's fabulousness and recognizing it in a way that mattered to them. 

That's recognition. It's more than a thank you. It's finding a way to show others you appreciate them. 

My story is just one example of many, many ways to recognize others. 

Here’s the takeaway: While we can’t always break the rules, one way to recognize others is by clearing their path. Make sure that we are not giving people unnecessary hoops to jump through. Help them measure their success with metrics that matter. 

**That doesn't mean everyone got As for the final course grade. Many did, but for some reason I didn't get reprimanded for it. ;)

But wait! There are a few more posts on recognition!

• This one shares the time I was recognized when things went wrong... and it meant more than ever.
• This one honors the Platinum Rule and offers tips for matching the recognition to the recipient so it lands well. 
• This one give fresh ideas for recognizing others (beyond a coffee card or mug!)

The comment feature isn't working, but I'd still love to have a conversation! Email me at 53thingsIthinkIknow@gmail.com

Telescope Image by Hans Braxmeier from Pixabay  

Head Tilt 54: Do you recognize me? (Recognition Series 1/4)

Me, incognito. (Shhhhhhh!)

If this were an episode of "Friends," it would be called The One with the Big Misunderstanding. 

This happened years ago with one of my biggest corporate clients. An employee who had just completed a two-week leadership training with me reached out for one-on-one coaching. I said yes, of course!

And then-- due to many reasons, but none worth typing now-- I let him slip through the cracks. 

My intention was great, but my execution of that intention was awful. 

That follow-through faux pas escalated into a communication misunderstanding. Again, my intention was very good, but that didn't really matter because the impact of that intention was a big swimming pool belly flop. 

I felt awful. I apologized. I wanted to make everything right. The employee, however, thought I had purposefully wronged him, and he was determined to die on that hill. 

The next thing I knew, the VP of Human Resources contacted me and asked me to meet her at Starbucks. 

😳

For context, I didn't know the director well. She was a powerful leader within the organization. She was also a no-B.S. New Yorker. I respected her greatly, and I was nervous about this meeting. We had never done anything beyond the training room, let alone socially. (eep!)

And as an external consultant, she owed me nothing. Nothing at all. This couldn't be good.

I arrived at Starbucks early so I could get a table. I got my tea and anxiously waited at a spot near the window. 

Would she chastise me?

Can I contract with this company ever again? 

I spotted her, tried to muster some confidence, and waved. She flashed a small smile, got some coffee, and joined me. 

After our brief hellos, she said something I'll never forget. 

She started with this:

"Michelle, you've been partnering with us for quite a while. And in all that time, I don't think I've ever told you how much we appreciate you and what you do for our company. Thank you."

Wait. What did I just hear? 

She went on to say only this about the employee hiccup:

"He learned, you learned, and now we all move on."

That was it. 

She then guided the conversation to lighter topics. We finished our caffeine and went on our way. 

Never before have I felt so recognized by an employer. 

• She took time for me, making a special effort to meet.
• She knew my character and gave me the benefit of the doubt. 
• She expressed gratitude in a way that mattered to me.

(I still work for that company to this day!)

Employee recognition is defined as the expressed acknowledgment to an individual or team for their contributions to the organization. 

The right recognition increases engagement and loyalty and builds trust.

Who wouldn't want that? 

For more on recognition:

• This one provides a list of tried-and-true ways to recognize others at work that go way beyond Amazon gift cards. 
• This one is about the time I did a really good job at recognizing my group's efforts, even though I broke some rules in the process.
• This one talks about the Platinum Rule and delivering recognition that lands.

But for now, I want to offer you a tiny bit of recognition:

Thank You! 

Thank you for reading my posts 

and encouraging me to write more. I appreciate you! 

Now go make someone's day with a little recognition. 😊

The comment feature isn't working, but I'd still love to have a conversation! Email me at 53thingsIthinkIknow@gmail.com

Head Tilt #24: Anonymous Me

Anonymous me

An-o-nym-i-ty 

noun

The condition of being anonymous

/anəˈnimədē/

That used to be a really hard word for me to pronounce when I said it in my leadership workshops. 

Say it quickly three times out loud, and you'll know my struggle.

But ever since the pandemic, that word has moved up to heavy rotation in my vocabulary playlist. Now it rolls off my tongue. While I appreciate human connection, I love some of the anonymity I've found during this upside-down time.

I love the anonymity of slipping into the grocery store with a mask and not having to engage in much more than brief small talk with the person six feet in front of me who wants to know if the frozen Amy's meals in my cart are any good. (Yes, they are, that's why I am buying them.)

I love the anonymity of company Zoom meetings I attend when I can turn off my camera and just listen, all while filing my nails. 

I love the anonymity of running with a cap, sunglasses and a gaiter that covers my face-- I feel like I'm a superhero in disguise. (Maybe I am; I'll never tell.)

But do you know where anonymity isn't okay? 

In the workplace. 

In his cleverly-titled, best-selling book, The Three Signs of a Miserable Job, leadership guru Pat Lencioni says that people are least satisfied in the workplace when:

1. Their results are immeasurable.
2. They feel their work is irrelevant.
3. They think they are anonymous to their boss and team. 

Number three means that no one really knows them beyond their job title. (Abraham Maslow knew what he was talking about when he put belonging on the hierarchy of needs.)

Good leaders tackle anonymity by making their team members feel seen. 

Good leaders:*

• Know their employees names and how to pronounce them correctly. (It's the little things.)

• Can identify people's work strengths (e.g., logical, detail-oriented, idea-generator, or supporter) and then give them opportunities to work from their sweet spots.

• Tailor employee recognition to employee preferences. People can have only so many Starbucks cards- especially if they prefer their local caffeine dispensary. (See my post on the platinum rule for more on this.)

• Have an idea of who their employees are beyond the workplace. Good leaders notice all of the SF Giants decor in your workspace, and they listen when you mention your family, kids or pets.

• Know what projects you've worked hard on and thoughtfully acknowledge your efforts. 

*This is not an exhaustive list. 

There are so many ways to tackle anonymity and make your workforce feel less like cogs in the machine and more like real human beings. 

What are you doing to tackle anonymity with your team? 

Head Tilt #11: Forget the gold, I'll take the platinum, please!

The Golden Rule— We've heard it since we were kids. 

"Treat others the way you want to be treated." 

Ugh.

When you really think about it, that is so self-centered and presumptive!

Hear me out: Is it okay for me to operate through life thinking that everyone wants to be treated just like I do? 

Let's test-drive this with some of the ways I like to be treated at work. If the Golden Rule is in place then it's safe for me to assume that:

• Because I like praise for things I do well, then everyone else probably does, too.  Therefore I should give lots of praise to everyone. (Wrong! Some people don't need it or want it!)
•  Because I like to work autonomously, then everyone else must like to work without much  supervision, too. Therefore, I should manage others that way. (Wrong! We all have different working styles!)
• (Pre-Covid) Since I liked being greeted by close co-workers with a friendly hug, then everyone else must like this, too, so let's all lean in!  (Um, let's not!)

Several years ago I learned of the Platinum Rule and I haven't stopped telling others about it since. 

Coined by communication guru, Milton Bennett, the platinum rule posits that the way to enhance empathy and connection is to treat others the way they want to be treated. Instead of viewing the world through the lens of me-me-me, we adapt our communication to other's needs and preferences.

I have an outgoing, outspoken, fun friend, let's call her Mel, who illustrated this well when she told me a story about positive feedback she gave one of her co-workers. The team succeeded on a tough project and Mel was stoked! As she approached the parking lot at the end of the day, she saw her teammate across the way and yelled, "Hey Ninja! You ROCKED it today! I'm grateful for you!" 

(This was exactly how Mel liked to be recognized, by the way.)

Her co-worker, however, was quite introverted. Mel's high-energy praise embarrassed him. To hear Mel tell it, she says he might as well have melted into the blacktop. Mel's intent was positive-- she wanted to acknowledge his hard work. Her impact fell flat though, since he didn't feel great about her kind (and loud) words. Who knows if he even really heard them through his embarrassment?

Quick learner that she is, Mel quickly scrapped the Golden Rule and upgraded to Platinum. 

The goal of any communication should be to get a message to another as effectively as possible. That doesn't mean as easily as possible, or as quickly as possible. Effectiveness, in this arena, calls for a mindful adaptation to other's needs. 

But how? 

There are two ways to figure out how someone likes to be treated. 

First, ask. Make space for conversations about people's preferences. Sticking with the example of recognition, in a staff meeting ask employees how they like to be recognized for good work. Remember: Your goal is for the communication, in this case recognition,  to have a positive impact. Amazon gift cards might be easy, but they might not stand out as special, either. Maybe a note to the boss would be better. 

The other way to find out how others like to be treated is to pay attention. You might need fewer check-ins on a project, but you notice that your direct report asks lots of questions and requires a bit more guidance. Adapt to their needs. Don't assume they' are just like you.

When it comes to market values, gold and platinum prices fluctuate. When it comes to communication, however, platinum rules.

Treat others the way they want to be treated.

Photo by Dima Valkov from Pexels