Showing posts with label transition. Show all posts
Showing posts with label transition. Show all posts

Head Tilt #87: The Next Best Things

 



There's something good coming on the horizon.

In a recent episode of Glennon Doyle's podcast, We Can Do Hard Things, Glennon addressed a question a 19-year-old college freshman asked. Before answering his question, though, she acknowledged his stage of life and recounted what her mom told her son before he left for college. She said,

 

“Everyone’s going to tell you that this is the best year of your life and to enjoy it. And you just do not listen to that. That is NOT TRUE.”


With love and a dose of reality, Glennon continued to say that freshman year is hard... and confusing... and it’s almost impossible to find your grip...

 And with a laugh, she added that so is every other year of life!

 

When we set ourselves up with the pressure of “this is going to be the best,” we pave the path for great disappointment if it isn’t.

 

I played the podcast for my son, and he said that he’d heard that high school was supposed to be the best time of his life.

 

 If he believed that, can you imagine the trepidation he might feel about graduation this week? The best part of his life is soon to be behind him... and he’s only 18!

 

As my youngest reaches this huge milestone, I reach another—the impending “empty nest” that awaits me this fall. I accept that some of the best parts of my life are behind me, but I am confident new “bests” await. With enough agency and imagination, I will create them. I don’t even know what they might be, but the anticipation of what’s possible helps me move forward.


Einstein said,

"Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions."

Today I am excited about my life's coming attractions and optimistically imagining my next best things.

I trust you are looking forward to yours, too. 🌞

Head Tilt #7: Mourn, mine and move on

A few months ago I coached a client who was transitioning into a new career. 

She started the call close to tears. 

She was being forced out of her current job (COVID, restructuring, etc.) and needed to search for a new one. The business of her soon-to-be former employer was what she knew. The processes were familiar. She was comfortable with her co-workers. A peek at her office would likely find the company logo on a hat, jacket, and travel mug. And even though it wasn't always perfect, her job defined her professionally for over a decade. She thought she'd retire there, to be honest.

No wonder she was emotional about leaving. 

We sat in silence for a while before proceeding with our session. 

I told her it was okay to mourn this loss, and I think she was grateful for the safe space. 

This was only the first step of our coaching session, though. Often when clients are facing work transitions, I walk them through my 3 M's for change.

Mourn.

Mine.

Move on. 

We can apply these 3 M's to any major professional transition, particularly when the change isn't our choice.

1. MOURN

We mourn loss by allowing ourselves to feel discomfort, defensiveness, disappointment, grief, sadness, anger, or whatever other feelings might arise when we traverse loss. (They won't just go away because we ignore them.) 

Talk it out with a trusted friend, counselor, or coach. Get it out by writing in a journal.  Work it out with physical exertion. (I'm a fan of hitting stuff). We can even dance it out-- One of my sisters, for example, swears that moving to any track by Nine Inch Nails is great for releasing anger. She's right, of course. ;) Likely our morning period is a combination of many things. 

The point is that we need to acknowledge the emotional difficulty of change instead of ignoring it, and only then we can find our path through it. 

2. MINE

Next, we put on our metaphorical yellow hard hats and mine the experience for lessons we can carry forward. We search for diamonds, gold, or any other treasures: positive and negative. What did we learn from the place, period, or person we are leaving? What are our strengths? Where can we grow? Don a cloak of humility and seek feedback before leaving, or thoughtfully review feedback that has accumulated over time. Mine with a learner's mindset instead of defense. Examone data with a flashlight, not a hammer. Yes, we can do this. Because we want to get better and it's just like us to do so. 

3. MOVE ON

Once we have acknowledged our discomfort with change and collected valuable lessons, we move on. We don't burn bridges. Not us! We move on with gratitude, professionalism, realistic optimism, and the belief that everything happens for a reason-- even if we aren't sure of that reason just yet. 

So. Much. Easier. Said.Than. Done. 

But as my favorite Peloton instructor, Robin Arzon, says:

No challenge, no change.

Change is inevitable. Let's change for the better.  

Me, working through something!