Head Tilt #65: Check ego

 

This inside of my car, Jedi-the-Jetta

It was love at first sight. 😍

 

I saw the “check ego” sticker on the bumper of a car I was driving behind.

 

Since I know that everything gets messy when one’s ego is out of check, I had to have the sticker.

 

I easily found it online and ordered a few.

 

As I set to put one on my car I thought,

 

“Wait a minute… who am I to tell others (through my bumper sticker wisdom) to check their egos? Isn’t that a rather egotistical thing to do?”

 

YUP.

 

I am the one who needs to “check ego.” 

 

So for years, I’ve put one of these stickers on the dash of my car. It’s placed prominently where I can see it.

 

✅ Check engine

✅ Check oil

✅ Check ego

 

The sticker reminds me to check my ego not only when driving, but all of the time. Left unchecked, my ego can cause a lot of chaos, on the road and off.

 

My ego:

 

·     Has insatiable cravings for more/better/best

·     Is a very poor communicator

·     Doesn’t play well with others

·     Plays defense before the game even starts

·     Has an over-inflated sense of self

·     Loves confirmation bias

·     Has no idea how to be kindful 😳

 

And my ego gets me in trouble

every

single

time

I don’t keep it in check.

 

With humility and kindness, I encourage you to play a good offense.

If you can relate to any of this post —the next time you check your engine and check your oil—maybe check your ego as well. ❤️

Head Tilt #64: Do the hustle

This post is in memory of Kip Allen 12/26/46 - 08/30/21

I was 18 and fresh out of high school. Uncertain what I wanted to do with my life, where I wanted to do it, and, most importantly, who the heck I wanted to be, I enrolled in my hometown's university to bide some time. 

The small college town I grew up in had exactly three bars: The artsy-alternative bar, the DJ/dancing bar, and the Cheers-type bar, where everyone really did know your name. I was 18, had zero bartending experience, and still, I was the perfect combination of ignorance and arrogance-- I applied to work at the latter. 

Kip Allen, owner of the Edinboro Hotel Bar in Edinboro, Pennsylvania, hired me on the spot. I think he reasoned that if he hired a hometown kid at age 18, there was a good chance I'd stay at the bar all through my undergrad education. Because I lived in town, I wouldn't go home for college breaks such as summer or holidays, because, well, home was two miles away. 

And he was right. I stayed put and tended bar all four years of college. 

I had an absolute blast!

Many of my best memories from college come from working at the bar. At age 18, ineligible to drink legally, I was introduced to a whole new world. 

I still laugh at the idea that I'd go to class during the day and serve my professors draft beer during happy hour. 

When I came across my high-school vice-principal one happy hour,  I asked him what I should call him now that I was serving him beer. "Asshole" was his reply. 😆 (He wasn't, by the way!)

I learned as much working at the bar as I did in college.  

Along with learning how to make cocktails, I learned how to

• go with the flow
• provide service with a smile
• tell a good joke
• be assertive
• lighten up
• lift heavy things (carrying two cases of beer at a time up a rickety staircase was a lot!)
• deal with drunks
• laugh off advances

and much more.

But the best thing I learned was how to hustle. 

    HUSTLE verb. hus-tled, hus-tling to proceed or work rapidly or energetically

Kip told me that no matter what I did upon graduation, I could tell any interviewer that working at the bar taught me how to hustle. 

And he was right. 

With ease, I could transition from having an empty bar to serving a line of people that went out the door.

I could navigate my way around a sea of tipsy customers, all with different demands, demeanors, and drink requests.

And on Homecoming weekend each fall-- the busiest, best time of the year- I summoned more hustler's energy than I knew existed. I could work back-to-back jam-packed shifts on less than four hours of sleep, only to join in the fun when my shifts were done.

(I still tap into that reservoir of energy when needed!)

I've taken the skill of hustling into every professional experience I've had since. It's something no college professor or class could teach me, but Kip could. 

Kip passed away last month. He was a wonderful man and one of the best bosses I ever had. I will always be grateful for the person who took a chance on a townie and taught her how to hustle. 💃

Here's to Kip 🍻

Rest in Peace, friend. ❤️

Head Tilt #63: Give trust to build trust

Beautiful, gentle Bowie ❤️

Bowie was on doggie death row. 

He had been abandoned at a shelter and was five hours from being executed euthanized. 

Then the coordinator of the fabulous foster organization I volunteer for rushed in, rescued him, and asked me if I could keep him until I found his forever home. 

How could I refuse that face? 

When I first met Bowie (who was nameless when he arrived), I was surprised to notice that he was as intimidated by me as I was by him. 

In appearance, he was a boxy brute. Inside though, he was a big dog playing small. He was broken, frightened, and he trusted no one. 

I didn't know his back story, but I knew I had to write a better future for Bowie. 

For that to happen, I needed to earn his trust.

To get Bowie to trust me, I had to extend trust to him. 

Instead of expecting any reciprocation of like, love or appreciation, I had to go first. 

It took vision, patience, kindness, treats (he loved cheese!), and commitment. 

About six days into fostering him, he wagged his tail. 

He wagged his tail! 

I still smile at the memory!

In the years that I taught Stephen M. R. Covey's Speed of Trust programs to leaders, I always included Bowie's picture in the slide deck and told his story. 

(I know we aren't dogs with broken spirits, but man-oh-man we can learn so much from dogs if we pay attention!)

Covey's research asserts that when it comes to building trust-- the one thing that changes everything--  leaders need to extend trust instead of simply expecting to be trusted.  

Leaders need to see potential. 

Leaders need to shelve their egos. 

Leaders need to go first.

"Extending trust is the ultimate act of leadership, the defining skill that transforms a manager into a leader."
 Stephen M. R. Covey

Extending trust isn't a blind trust, but rather what Covey calls a "smart trust." Smart trust minimizes risk while maximizing reward. It requires judgment, boundaries, and accountability. It can be scary. It can take time. And it can also change the entire dynamic of a relationship or team.

To extend trust:

• We model the way by being trustworthy. We talk straight, declare our intention, and do what we say we will do. Instead of simply spewing truths and calling it trust-building, we are mindful of the impact of our words and we choose the best ones for any situation. We adapt. 
• We gently hold others accountable and help them grow.
• We assume positive intent instead of defaulting to suspicion. 
• We prioritize trust. We talk about it, notice it, nurture it, build it, maintain it, and restore it when it wanes. 

It's just that simple. 

HA! 

Building, maintaining, and repairing trust is complex. We are complex! We have agendas, priorities, histories, and biases. I highly recommend that you read Speed of Trust for a much deeper, researched dive. Covey explains it all so well and lays out a step-by-step for leaders, teams, and companies to follow. 

But for now, think about this: 

Are you extending trust or sowing suspicion? 

To whom can you extend smart trust today? 

Are you willing to go first? 

As for Bowie, he's living the dream on a goat sanctuary with a wonderful family. His forever family sends me holiday pictures every year. ❤️

Head Tilt #62: I got a bad haircut

Hiding in my hoodie

Recently I got a bad haircut.

It happens. 

In the scheme of things, it was nothing to be upset about.

But I was upset. 

Here's why:

• It wasn't what I asked for.
• It took twice as long to style.
• Even when I put in the time and effort, it just didn't look right. 

I got discouraged and hid in hats, hoods, and headbands.

Oddly, my little bad-haircut experience parallels what many feel as they traverse big corporate change: negative emotions, resistance and frustration. 

Changes such as implementing a new software system, navigating the on/off cycle of working from home, or adapting to new leadership can increase employee angst while reducing employee engagement. Neither of which is good for the employee nor the business. 

And similar to my bad haircut reaction, employees can struggle because:

• They didn't ask for the change.
• The learning curve involved with the change makes things harder.
• With as much effort as they put in, the results aren't immediately visible.

And still, thriving individuals, departments and organizations rely on managing change successfully.

If you are leading corporate change, help your employees embrace it. 

• Let them know change is coming. No surprises! Give them a long runway so they can ask questions, make adjustments and shift their mindset. This is particularly important for people who are motivated by stability and security.

• Get them involved. Query them about their concerns. Ask for their input. 

• Acknowledge the learning curve. Turn up the empathy. Allow them to be comfortable with discomfort. Explore the stages of change and highlight milestones and deliverables. Pair them with a peer learning partner— someone they can lean on and learn from. 

• Define and determine what's in it for them (WIIFT). Clearly explain how they will benefit from the change and how the organization will. Better yet, ask them how they think they will benefit.

Back to the bad haircut...

I guess it's not as bad as I thought. I don't love it, but I am used to it. I've learned how to make it not-so-awful, and I even got a compliment the other day. 

Now I can be upset about things that really matter. 😳

 

Head Tilt #61: The making of a super-fan

CoSo and me in February 2021– right after his "adoption." 

I've wanted to share this customer service story for a while now. 

But I've hesitated. It involves some rule-breaking and I didn't/don’t want to get the company or the employees who made it possible in trouble. Even though the organization might be revealed in the photo above or descriptions below, let's keep this between us.😉

Gather ‘round, it’s customer service storytime! 

During the pandemic, I ran. 

And I ran. 

And then I ran a bit more. 

Running kept me somewhat sane. 

Our little beach town was empty during Covid. No tourists visited. Locals kept to themselves. Everything was quiet. 

During that time I went on some of the best runs of my life. I ran the whole town. I found courses I knew of but had never explored. 

One of these paths took me past the amusement park in our city. It quickly became one of my favorite runs. A mile into it, I'd pass the arcade. In stark comparison to its normal joyful presence, the arcade was dark, silent, and empty. 

Clearly visible behind the locked, sliding glass entry doors were two large bags stuffed with game prizes. Teal and pink sharks smooshed together in these transparent plastic traps. Each held a slice of pizza or a donut. Some faced forward, some backward, some upside down. 

They represented a paused world. 😔

For months, no matter how fast or far I ran on that particular path, seeing those animated, happy faces gave me an instant boost of energy. I pretended that two of the sharks in particular cheered me on whenever I passed. 

Eventually, with no end to the pandemic in sight, I decided I needed to bring one of them home. 

I set my plan into motion by checking my connections on LinkedIn. I direct-messaged a leader in the company, but didn't hear back. Not to worry— I knew it was a long shot. At least it was a start. 

Next, I made a call to my good friend who had just retired from the company. I explained my story and asked her who I should call. First, as only a good friend can say, she let me know that she thought I was weird. Ha! No surprise there! 🤪 Then, she gave me a name and number. 

I was hopeful.

I called right away and presented my request.

Nope. He didn't have the authority to make that happen. 

He directed to another team member, though. 

I called that person and left a message. 

I didn't hear back for a while.

I began to feel discouraged. This was stupid. They had way more important things to do. They were strategizing ways to make their business survive and keep their employees on the payroll...and I was trying to rescue a stuffed animal. 😳

(Just reading that last line makes me laugh!)

Eventually, I tried the contact again and got through. I told her my Covid running story and how the arcade prize sharks had cheered me on and cheered me up during tough times. I asked if I could buy one. I knew this was a policy violation: Prizes were to be won, not purchased. The arcade was closed indefinitely though, and maybe the rules had changed. She said she would get back to me. 

And guess what? When she called me back the answer was 

YES!

Because of these unparalleled times, the company would make an exception. 🎉 🥳 🎢

We arranged the date, price, and pick-up spot. Just in case I had a choice, I mentioned which shark I wanted (pink with donut, thankyouverymuch). 

Only a few days later, I stepped foot on their property and left with three things: 

• my giant pink, donut-holding shark
• a big smile
• immeasurable customer satisfaction

I was so happy!

I named my shark CoSo for Covid Souvenir. 

He sits at my desk and still cheers me on! CoSo and his lookalike prize peers brightened my days during one of the most challenging times our world has ever faced. ☀️ I am grateful to have him home as a reminder. 

But wait!

This blog post is about customer service, not me and CoSo.

This is about what happened when an awesome company broke the rules for a customer during the pandemic.

By breaking those rules, they cemented my adoration, loyalty, and respect for their business. 

Since becoming the owner of CoSo:

• I look at the company even more favorably.
• I talk about the company with even more enthusiasm. 
• And though I was already a fan, now I am a super fan. 

That is service magic right there. ↑↑

In my customer service classes, I don't endorse breaking the rules. As a customer, I don't expect service providers to break the rules for me, either. 

Rules enable service consistency around processes, protocols, and fairness.

As service providers, most of the time we cannot and should not break the rules.

And in extraordinary circumstances, with the right intent and the appropriate approval, sometimes breaking the rules is the just the thing to do. 

What has a company done to make you a super-fan?

What have you done to create super-fans for your company?

More customer service lessons can be found here:

Challenging Customers 

HERO Service

Lessons from Disney: We Don't Have Bad Days

Lessons from Disney: Everything Speaks

CoSo made his blog debut here in this short post about Feedback

Head Tilt #60: Walt, Leadership, and the Soup Scene

Do you remember that scene in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs where they all sit around the table and slurp soup?

Neither do I. 

It never made it to the big screen.

Ward Kimball (one of Disney's original animators who was part of the famed Nine Old Men) spent eight months working on that scene. 

Fellow animators loved it!

Walt thought it was good!

Walt also cut it from the film. 

He said that the picture was simply too long and something had to go.

It was 1937, and since Snow White would be the first full-length cartoon feature film, Walt knew that he had to keep the story tight.

Regarding the soup scene he said, "Even though we liked the sequence, it was not essential to the telling of the story."

Ward was disappointed. He'd worked so hard.

But Walt came back quickly with a new character he wanted Ward to sketch for an upcoming project. 

From the recorded interview played at the Walt Disney Family Museum, Ward happily recalled the next conversation he had with Walt after the Snow White soup scene had been edited from Snow White:

"He was a salesman and he changed the soup sequence to the enjoyment I'd have with Jiminy Cricket."

And Ward went on to animate everyone's favorite conscience. 

Two leadership essentials stand out to me in this story: 

1. Alignment

Walt knew the goal of his first feature film, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. He aligned all decisions toward that goal, even when he knew others would be disappointed.

2. Engagement

Walt also knew that to keep top talent he needed to drive, not decrease, engagement. He did this by giving Ward an even bigger, better creative project. 

If you are a leader:

• Do you have a crystal-clear image of your goals? 
• Are you able to evaluate which actions, processes, and efforts are in alignment or out of alignment with these goals? 
• Do you have the courage to make tough decisions? 
• When necessary, are you able to reignite employee engagement by directing talent to other projects? 

And if you are a Disney fan like me:

• Don't you want to see the soup sequence? My son found it here! Enjoy!

Yes! There is so much more to say about goals and engagement. This is just a real-life story that illustrates the power of each. Keep the conversation going with your teams.