Head Tilt #1: The magic between stimulus and response

The Kindfull Response Spectrum

While remaining authentic to our experiences and emotions, when we are mindful 
we can choose responses that move closer to kindness and further from cruelty. 

 "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies your freedom and power to choose your response. In those responses lie your growth and your happiness."

Viktor Frankl   Stephen Covey

Attributed initially to respected Holocaust survivor and Austrian psychologist Viktor Frankl, closer inspection pairs the quote with Stephen Covey (The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People).

To be honest, I really don't care who said it; I'm just glad I read it.

We get triggered (stimulus) --> and we react (response).

BUT WAIT!

When responding to others in defense-producing moments, by taking a few more deep breaths and waiting a few more moments between what happens and what we do about it...

We engage our prefrontal cortex (the smart part of the brain), and we activate the power of choice!

When we put distance between stimulus and response, options appear. Do we want to respond with kindness or cruelty? Support or superiority? Somewhere in between? 

When auto-pilot isn't an option, we awaken will.

Once mindful enough to allow space between stimulus and response, we can examine our communication choices through the lens of kindness. That doesn't mean being inauthentic. Instead, it means we choose the best response available to us at that moment. We may choose to bite our tongue, walk away, or ask a good question. Instead of swearing or name-calling, we might choose a less offensive word in a heated moment. The point is that we choose.

Other ways to put distance between stimulus and response include:

• Knowing our why and who we want to be.
• Removing ourselves from the situation until calm enough to choose a kindful response
• Engaging our senses and quickly noting one thing we see, hear, smell, feel, and taste

Our communication choices make an impact. 

Choose to be mindful.

Then, choose the kindest response available. 

Be kindful. 

"In those responses lie your growth and your happiness."

mw