Special note: On March 13, 1997, I was diagnosed with leukemia. During that time, I wrote a book titled Dancing with the Diagnosis, Steps for Taking the Lead When Facing Cancer. It was published a few years after the completion of my treatment. In honor of the 25th anniversary of the diagnosis, I am highlighting parts of the book and the lessons I learned in this five-part series. I hope the posts will encourage and maybe even inspire. I welcome comments and conversations!
Excerpt from Chapter 1: Choose Your Words Wisely
We did not choose our health issues. We did not ask for our lives to be put on hold. We did not volunteer for repeated hospital visits. We did not choose to dance this dance! When we reluctantly start our dance with any diagnosis, decision-making feels out of reach, and control is seemingly lost. As we search to regain personal power, it is essential to first review and perhaps modify the words we choose.
The cycle is significant: Our word choices shape the realities we see, and the realities we see shape the words we choose. Censoring the negative words that creep into our daily vocabulary is one way to exercise control of our word choice, and thus, our realities.
For instance, I once told my mother that I dreaded Fridays -- my clinic days-- because I always seemed to get some sort of bad news from my doctors. For me, this was true. My reality was that clinic days equaled bad news days-- I had plenty of evidence to support this; I always seemed to learn something I would have rather not known on Fridays.
Being the ever-wise woman that she is, my mom instantly picked up on my use of the word "bad." Why would anyone in their right mind look forward to a visit when they received something "bad" each time?
From there on, she asked that I not use the word bad to describe any kind of news I received on Fridays. Instead, we would view news in three tiers:
1. News that wasn't immediately favorable was viewed as mere information; we would simply refer to it as just plain "news." 😐
2. News of a more encouraging type (improved health, steady progress) would be labeled as "good news." 🙂
3. News that topped the others (no need to be admitted to the hospital, surprise improvements) would be called "AMAZING NEWS!" 🤩
After each Friday clinic visit, I would classify that day's news and report back to my mom. Eliminating all possibilities of "bad" news for my mind and allowing myself to choose between neutral and positive alternatives softened the edge of many appointments. What we say shapes what we see. ❤️
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| Original art from Dancing with the Diagnosis, 2003 |