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I first learned about this a while back from Dr. Dan Siegel's hand model of the brain, and then researched it more. I have been talking about it in training ever since.
If you're committed to showing up with competent, mindful communication, we'd better take a closer look at three specific parts of our marvelous organic computer: the brainstem, limbic system, and prefrontal cortex.*
Okay, let's do this!
First, let's give a nod of gratitude to the brainstem. Located at the base of the brain, the brainstem regulates involuntary things such as breathing, body temperature, blood pressure, and heartbeat. If we come face to face with a hungry tiger, for example, our heartbeat accelerates, and our blood pressure elevates-- we don't even think about it. That's all the brainstem's job.
Next, let's shout out to the brainstem's hard-working co-worker, the limbic system. This part of the brain system is in charge of our emotions and the fight or flight responses. So, when we see the tiger and the brainstem is busy taking care of cardiovascular and respiratory functions; the limbic system, in this case, the amygdala, simultaneously shoots up the flare that says, "Panic!" In a millisecond, we feel the urge to yell, run, or hide--or all three.
Do we think about what to do in that millisecond? Not really. The brainstem and limbic system take over.
Like superheroes, they're busy saving our lives.
They got this!
They take over so quickly that they override the prefrontal cortex, the aptly named "smart part" of the brain that resides in the frontal lobe. The prefrontal cortex is where reasoning, judgment, and problem-solving take place. It's like the brainstem's and limbic system's boss; it reviews their work and determines the best course of action.
But when those two get triggered and sense danger, they fire the boss and do what they want.
That's all very well when the danger is a hungry tiger.
The thing is, the brainstem and limbic system aren't too good at distinguishing a tiger from a tabby cat, so to speak. They rely on the boss they just fired for that stuff.
Let's pivot to the workplace.
Suppose you are in an important meeting and your co-worker speaks up and takes credit for your work.
UGH!
Your heart beats faster. You feel defensive. You are angry, and your physiological responses indicate that.
Even so, choosing between fight, flight, freeze, or faint is not the best course of action. Your life isn't in danger.
This situation is more tabby-cat and less tiger.
You need to engage the prefrontal cortex. Rehire the boss and make a good decision about how to proceed.
How?
1. Breathe. Put distance between the stimulus (in this case, the co-worker taking credit for your ideas) and your response. Give yourself a moment before you go into auto-pilot and regret it later. Take a few deep breaths immediately, or be like a Navy Seal and proactively practice box breathing.
2. Remember your why. This is huge. Why is it important for you to control your response? Are you modeling the way for others? Are you working hard to build relationships? Are you looking to be promoted? Are you trying to assume positive intent with all co-workers before jumping to conclusions? These are all great reasons to let your prefrontal cortex take back the reins from the other two who are in control. What gets you out of bed in the morning? If you don't have a why get clear on it now. Simon Sinek's wildly successful TED Talk is a great place to start!
3. Ask yourself: Tiger or tabby-cat? Is this a life-threatening situation (tiger) or something much less (tabby cat)? Know the difference.
The World Federation of Neurology claimed July 22 as World Brain Day. It promotes advocacy and awareness of brain health, choosing a specific focus each year.
I propose that you dub today, the day you're reading this, whatever day that might be, as your own brain appreciation day. It's working hard on your behalf, even when you don't think about it.
(Pun totally intended.)
*There are other parts of the brain to explore, and there are much better people to educate you about them. Remember, this is the least you need to know, and I am obviously not a neuroscientist.
That is pretty apparent. 😆