The Divorce Post: Gotta get bad before it gets good

Metaphorical Me

Note to anyone who stumbles upon this: Often, I process my feelings best through writing. This is one of those times. Not a head-tilt, not a lesson, just what's going on for me right now. I hope some might relate. 

I recently made a major life change. 

I finally filed for divorce from my partner of 29 years. Even though we’ve been separated for nine tumultuous months, it was the toughest decision I've ever made. Ever.

As much as I know that it was the right thing to do, right now

It
Is

Simply
So
Hard.

Right now, I am like a skydiver who chose to jump out of a plane.

You see, they're in a free fall for about 50 seconds after the jump.

In those 50 seconds, as exhilarated as they are that they finally made the courageous choice to jump,

I bet they are also frightened.

Will they find the ripcord?

Will the parachute work?

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right now, that's me. 

I made an informed, mindful, albeit difficult, choice.

I jumped out of a metaphorical plane. 

Not by whim, yet out of necessity.

And now I'm in a free fall.

Scared. Panicking. Wondering if I'll crash.

No. 

Not me.  

Soon, I'll find the ripcord, pull it, and my parachute will help me glide toward what’s possible and what’s next. Even better, maybe I'll find my wings. 

Until then, I honor all my feelings of fear and uncertainty because, eyes wide open, I chose this, and I trust my decision.

I am continuously growing and learning through this change.

If you, too, have made a significant change, accept that it will be hard for a bit.

A dear friend of mine said it's like jumping off a moving train: You'll roll a few times before you find your balance and stand on your feet.

Plane or train

Free fall or roll

It gets better.

Hang on.

Sometimes, it's gotta get bad before it gets good.

But it's going to get good.

So very good!

Onward. ☀️

Head Tilt #39: Make the future you proud

When I teach I provide participants with lots of practical tools. 

For example, in a recent customer service class I covered:

• the service mindset
• how to analyze what your customers want
• three communication essentials for connecting with customers
• a framework for dealing with difficult customers, and 
• how to recover when things go sideways

That's a lot! And it's coupled with handouts, activities, and reflection. 

At the end of most classes, I ask people a variation of the same two questions: 

    What one concept or tool stood out to you? What could you try tomorrow? 

There's no need to take it all on at once.

Through years of teaching and coaching, I've seen that we're often so eager to change that we take an all-or-nothing approach: Do it all or don't do a thing.

And through the years I've tried to let others know that the most important part of development is to do one small thing. 

That thing that stood out? Test drive it! 

Check the results. Are you pleased? 

Good! 

Practice it for a bit and then add another small thing. 

Then do another! 

Stack small steps on top of small steps until you have a whole bunch of small steps leading right to the top of your big goal.

Make the future you proud! 

And here's a secret you should all know: 

The future you does not only exist in that far away place you’ll reach when you:

• have it all figured out
• saved enough money
• found the perfect weight
• earned the right degrees
• applied all of the lessons you learned. 

The future you is mere minutes away. Make that future you proud.

The future you is the one who is pleased with the way you handled a sticky situation. Make that future you proud. 

The future you is the one who said what needed to be said at the team meeting. Make that future you proud.

The future you is the one crossing the finish-line of the workout that you didn't want to do but did anyway.Make that future you proud. 

The future you is the one who just made a micro-movement toward a bigger goal. Make that future you proud. 

Fun fact: I sat down to write this blog post and though I knew what I wanted to say, I wasn't sure how I'd say it. Still, I knew I wanted to make the future me proud. 

And I did.  💕

Yay!