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| Metaphorical Me |
Note to anyone who stumbles upon this: Often, I process my feelings best through writing. This is one of those times. Not a head-tilt, not a lesson, just what's going on for me right now. I hope some might relate.
I recently made a major life change.
I finally filed for divorce from my partner of 29 years. Even though we’ve been separated for nine tumultuous months, it was the toughest decision I've ever made. Ever.
As much as I know that it was the right thing to do, right now
It
Is
Simply
So
Hard.
Right now, I am like a skydiver who chose to jump out of a plane.
You see, they're in a free fall for about 50 seconds after the jump.
In those 50 seconds, as exhilarated as they are that they finally made the courageous choice to jump,
I bet they are also frightened.
Will they find the ripcord?
Will the parachute work?
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Right now, that's me.
So
Hard.
Right now, I am like a skydiver who chose to jump out of a plane.
You see, they're in a free fall for about 50 seconds after the jump.
In those 50 seconds, as exhilarated as they are that they finally made the courageous choice to jump,
I bet they are also frightened.
Will they find the ripcord?
Will the parachute work?
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Right now, that's me.
I made an informed, mindful, albeit difficult, choice.
I jumped out of a metaphorical plane.
I jumped out of a metaphorical plane.
Not by whim, yet out of necessity.
And now I'm in a free fall.
Scared. Panicking. Wondering if I'll crash.
No.
And now I'm in a free fall.
Scared. Panicking. Wondering if I'll crash.
No.
Not me.
Soon, I'll find the ripcord, pull it, and my parachute will help me glide toward what’s possible and what’s next. Even better, maybe I'll find my wings.
Soon, I'll find the ripcord, pull it, and my parachute will help me glide toward what’s possible and what’s next. Even better, maybe I'll find my wings.
Until then, I honor all my feelings of fear and uncertainty because, eyes wide open, I chose this, and I trust my decision.
I am continuously growing and learning through this change.
If you, too, have made a significant change, accept that it will be hard for a bit.
A dear friend of mine said it's like jumping off a moving train: You'll roll a few times before you find your balance and stand on your feet.
Plane or train
Free fall or roll
It gets better.
Hang on.
Sometimes, it's gotta get bad before it gets good.
But it's going to get good.
So very good!
Onward. ☀️